... KATE KAVANAUGH....

It's never enough for me

2008-10-27T06:44:00.000-07:00

.............APPARENTLY MY MAKEOVER SKILLS JUST WEREN'T ENOUGH....

so, we've moved!

Check out: http://KateKavanaugh.com

That's right. My own domain.......... Leave comments... Tell me what you think of the new layout!!! I promise there will be more updating on this one.

KK.

Update: I was Wrong

2008-10-26T08:27:00.001-07:00

I was wrong. Online dating could create a new genre of blog.

I just received this gem:

Dear Kate,

Your profile conveys that you possess immense inner and outer beauty with a special warmth and sweetness. I have been told that I possess some of these qualities. I really enjoyed your profile which is full of life and seeing the beautiful light that emanates from your being. As a personal interest, I studied Shiatsu over a 3 year period and enjoy making others feel better and taking away their pain. I enjoy music, theatre, live or otherwise, and being adventurous and spontaneous. Who knows maybe it is possible we could create a masterpiece together.
I appreciate your reply whatever it may be.
Take care and be well,
ICANTPUBLISHHISNAMEBCTHATWOULDBETOOMEAN....

So, now you're probably wondering what my profile said to elicit this.

It says that I like wings and beer and that I don't do threesomes......... actually.

KK.

We Had a Makeover!!

2008-10-26T07:58:00.001-07:00

This is a temporary solution until I get a new website up and running. If anyone has any suggestions on the actual making of this supposed site for those of us that are less technically inclined, please let me know!

I think the pink is a little too much, no?

I'm sorry that I haven't been around a lot, but that's going to change.

1. I was offered a job and am in current negotiations regarding said job. It's my dreammmm job. I want it- I want it - I want it. Gimme Gimme Gimme.

Kate, how will gaining employment make you more dedicated up actually updating when you didn't do anything during your unemployed times...??

Well, blogger, I'm glad you asked. This job isn't the typical 9-5 business. I get to be all erratic and random, and sometimes even work from home. This means: More blog and possibly even re-writing and finishing my book. Yippee.

2. I signed up to an online dating site, because Robert was having such a hilarious time and getting so many dates (because he's gay, and there seems to be a disjunct in how one applies one concept to the gay world and the straight world) that I thought: "Gee.... Kate... You just got back from Europe, if there's any time that you have a decent excuse to be all online dating, it's now" So, I joined, and told myself that it would provide a really good inspiration for some blogging and writing.

I was right/wrong. So far my blackberry has been inundated with messages from said dating site, most of which contain a simple "hi"..... seriously. Did you just make me erase a message from my phone, go to my computer, look it up and log in, thus telling other users that I am around, just to see the word: "hi"? If a guy said that to my face, in a bar... I would walk away. Unless he handed me a martini at the same time.

There were a few interesting messages. One guy promised me a powerfree struggle in a relationship as he wanted an "alpha female".... I asked what made him think I was an alpha female. He never responded. Hilariously enough, I am. But, after Man Friend.... I like a little power struggle in a relationship.

And finally, the last straw, I received a message form a nice bloke who dropped that he was in the 911 industry (interesting, establishing an automatic trust by using a man in uniform, without any guarantee that he in fact, is one). Then he invited me to Germany AND Aruba.... on him. We all know that I like to be taken care of BUT........... skeettttchy.

Unless I'm wanting inspirtation for a serial killer series... I can't see how this online dating site is going to help me with this blog.

And that aside, I'm still dating J4. I mean, I don't do the whole exclusive thing unless it's super serious. And, I'm not ready for the super serious right now, henceforth I will not be doing the exclusive thing.... but still.... I think that since I have a real live person, I shouldn't be dabbling in the virtual side.

J4 has been good for me. I like having him around. He's the exact opposite of Man Friend. Where MF would fly off the handle for anything due to his experiencing extreme emotions, and intensity, J4 doesn't get fazed by anything..........annnything... really.

I get excited when he seems to get a little bit annoyed about something... because I've never seen him look happy, or sad, or mad. Never. And I've known him since kindergarten. Albeit, not well, but still....

Any suggestions on how I can illicit an emotion from him? Because, yes, I seem to think that it's appropriate to try to poke and prode someone until they exhibit an extreme emotion....when what I supposedly like about him is his lack there of.

Freud, can you hear me?

KK.

Siting Beside a Half Empty Magnum of Wine..

2008-10-20T08:26:00.000-07:00

Setting: @ Roberts* desk in velcro rollers and his sweater...

I stayed at Roberts place for the weekend, where nothing of serious importance went down... just the way I like it. This morning he hurried off to work while I stayed Pj'd up with intentions of the in-building gym and pool bouncing in my head.

Then the Cop called.

I dated him briefly before I moved to Europe... and by briefly, I mean that I informed him that I was moving half way across the world on our third date, 5 days before I left.**

He has court downtown today so we're meeting for lunch. He actually called to see what I was doing tonight, as in after 10 pm when his baseball game is over.... Ummmm......No. So, I suggested lunch and he caved and now we're doing beer and wings.

1. He clearly hasn't read "The Game" -- My new obsession ... I like to see what guys use tricks from this little playa playa manual. He does not seeing as he immediately a) gave me the power of decision making and b) agreed to the all time least romantic date time of lunch.

2. No man.... I repeat, No Man can resist the lure of beer and wings on their day off.

So, that should be fun.

Except that my blackberry died, and as it turns out, the text messages that I sent him with the home number to where I am didn't go through.

Let's see if he some how gets in touch with me .... Smoke signals perhaps?***

So, that means that the biggest conundrum of my day is: Black sexy boots or brown casual boots?

....... How to choose.....

KK.

* Robert is my gay other half. Soon to be roommate.
** Bitch move, yes.
*** email may be more practical....

The Only Romantic Love is that which is Unfulfilled....

2008-10-17T06:16:00.000-07:00

I miss Man Friend. Like a lot.

I woke up this morning at 7 am and turned on the TV, because really....what else do I have to do? I watched Out Of Africa. It's about a Danish Baroness and this American chap (Robert Redford) and she loves him but she's married and he's so independent. When she finally gets a divorce, he tells her that he can't really be there to just be with her... he loves her but he needs freedom. Then he admits that he wants her around, and promptly dies.

The entire movie was pretty irrelevant to my relationship with Man Friend... I mean, I didn't sit by the fire begging him to not go on Safari. And I never would. I'd ask for a rifle that fits me and ask what time we were leaving in the morning... but still. Something about a sappy love story from Africa made me curl up in my bed and shut the curtains till 9 am.... when I finally talked myself into getting out of bed and trying on an old vintage dress that I've never worn*.

And now I'm back in bed.

And I think that I'll stay here. Maybe apply for a few jobs......... seeing as I'm still unemployed**

KK.

*Not a safari dress............ more 1950s with a lace overlay......
**I DID have an interview yesterday...perhaps I will write about it when I'm more inspired to be less boring.

Voting Day

2008-10-14T14:31:00.000-07:00

............My most favorite of all of the holidays.

Wait........ it's not a holiday?

Then why wasn't I at work today?

Oh that's right... it's because I'm still unemployed.

Awesome.

Anyway, today is the Canadian voting day, and right after I finish my cocktail, I'm going to walk up to my old elementary school (which my parents still live around the corner from) and vote for BARAK OBAMA...

........Wait.........What do you mean he's not running in the Canadian election?!

I LIVE in Canada, and I've definitely seen him on TV more than any of the other candidates in the last 37 days.......

Oh.... I understand, that's just because we care more about the American election than our own. No worries.

So, now I have a conundrum. If Obama is out, then who should I vote for?

Stephen Harper... leader of the conservatives. I think he's a total douche and his social policy makes me want to cry for the last 50 years of social progress that we've made. His economic policy is tempting to anyone who makes over 100 G's a year. I'm unemployed. He's the only one that has a fighting chance at guaranteeing Canadians Arctic Sovereignty... which I feel strongly about.....sooo there's a plus for him....a very small plus that is greatly over shadowed by his comparing gay marriage to beasiality. The MP in my area for his party....well... I don't know her but she lost to Belinda Stronach a lotta years ago and...........well..........old rivalries die hard.
*love you Belinda*

Stephen Dion: Leader of the Liberals. I love the libs. Dion makes me want to cry for the state of our party. His social policy and economic policy revolvs around Green Party policy which makes me ask: HEY.... if we have a party dedicated to this, and they've only ever gotten one chair in our parliment then maybe Canadians aren't so hot on the idea.....DUH.
The MP running in the area: Love him. But I can't stand his boss.... tough call.

Jack Layton......... I am not on welfare nor am I barefoot and pregnant, so I will not be voting for him.

Green Party. I hate to say it.... and Jayz loves to hear it BUT....... I might just have to vote for them. I care about the environment, and I don't consider it a wasted vote to exercise our parliment in the pluralist fashion in which it was born.
I do not feel that a major party like the liberals should have a Green Shift platform at this time, despite my concern for the environment....and I think that voting for the green party sends a message: I care about trees, but I don't want my prime minister to be hugging them.... Dear Dion: Get a grip.

No?

Yes?

I don't think many people will agree with me.

Ofcourse, I wont know exactly what it is that I will do until I get to the polls. So, because of my conundrum.... I will be drinking a few pommegranite martinis, and then making my way up there, where I will fight with an important desicion that effects my country's future, while suprressing horrible memories of elemntary school and that butchy soft ball playing girl that used to taunt me for liking Barbies after I was 10 years old.

Bitch.

KK.

To Guda!

2008-10-14T07:30:00.000-07:00

Today was a glorious, glorious day. Not because it was the Canadian thanksgiving, not because we had mounds of food and not because I got to throw twin brother an impromptu graduation party.

No.

Today was glorious because it was the much anticipated seasons premiere of Samantha Who?.

Christina applegate slays me. Mostly because I act like her recently out of comatose character on a daily basis and I don't have amnesia....

Awkward.

Jenna came over for the festivity and much cranberry wine was had. So much, in fact, that I almost split a spleen laughing at the movie She's the man, with Amanda Bynes (who also slays me).

What did I find so funny, you ask? Well! On an awkward first date scene, the hot man meat that is the lead actor asks his date if she likes cheese.

Really.

This happened to me on an awkward and horrible first date with a swiss banker in zurich.

Honestly, he asked me if I liked cheese. Like as a conversation starter: "So.... do you like cheese?"

What?

I still tell this story at parties, because I'm a bitch, and I always follow it up with: "man! I couldn't make this up if I tried..."

But apparently the writers of Disney movies can............ Which I found, and still find, unusually hi-lar-i-ous!!!

Poor jenna.

KK.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

Did I Ever Tell You About the Time My Mother Sent My Brother To Boy Scouts with Three Joints?

2008-10-13T15:56:00.001-07:00

Today, a man wearing khaki shorts and a navy blue polo shirt jogged past me with a shitzu dog in tow...

............welcome to Suburbia.

Wow... That Just Made Me Want HomeFries REALLY Bad...

2008-10-11T20:13:00.000-07:00

Today I did something really, really indicative of myself.

I set up a new clothing rack to fit all of my wardrobe until the imminent move to the city and out of the parental housing unit.

Some people have external hard drives.... I have an external closet.

I also spent some time getting re acquainted with my shoe collection, half of which was left in North America while I gallivanted around Europe for 9 months*...
Specifically a Steve Madden wedge with black ankle ties which I have YET to wear EVER.... Here's hoping that they are still in season next summer...

I really do come off as a ditsy girl sometimes, don't I?

I wonder if it were a man who had varied interests, such as politics, economics, international relations and what not, were to talk at random about cars and the rebuilding of a 1967 mustang convertible.... would he then be taken for a muscle car dumb jock?

Bringing me to my next topic: Feminism.

Recently (read, yesterday), I was chatting with a friend about a possible job opening in her company.** She works for a not for profit community centered organization that holds the mandate of female, specifically young girl, empowerment and cultivation through leadership and role models.

In discussion, I dropped the word: feminism.

OH. MY. GOD. You would have think I said something praising about Hitler by her reaction. "We Are NOT feminists," she shouted.

"Do you not stand for the empowerment of young girls and women alike?"

"Yes. But NEVER use the word 'feminist' when describing us."

Let's take a second and talk about this, shall we? WHAT. The. Hell. I used to teach a first year University class, in which I would always ask one question to start things off: "Who here is a feminist?"

No one...maybe one...raised their hands.

"What if I told you that siplified, feminism is the idea that women have the right to vote, they are considered a person, and they have the rights over their own body as a person would? What then? Oh and boys? You can be feminists too.... you know, if you have a sister, female friend, mother, aunt, wife that you feel might be entitled to these rights"

Everyone, almost, would then raise their hand.

Now, I agree that in the present context of political ideology and speak, there is a disjunct between rhetoric of feminist equality ideals and the scary bull dyke blaming man for global warming while burning her bra with a butane torch.... but come ON.

How did this word get so scary to us? To WOMEN? So sacry that we aren't to repeat it to our daughters, our children, our employers or our female colleagues?

When did my desire to actually be paid the same amount in the work place as a male counterpart, which we are still NOT in Canada (a developed nation), become a "difference of opinion on the meaning of a word"?

When did my vehement and passionate response to prostitution being the only profession that a lower class woman can stumble into, in south east asian countries, and sometimes even my own, become a condemnation?

When did my absolute disgust that women are still overlooked in ALL United Nation Charters and the institution itself; And the fact that women have a higher rate of HIV and AIDs world wide, while being ignored, become a point that I should avoid or hush up about during an interview for an organization that is meant to be showing girls how to step up and speak out?

When? And where the hell was I when this happened?

And I would love to say that this is my opinion, and as such others are entitled to their own....but that's just ludicrous. I'm totally right here. And for my friend to say that we simply have a difference of opinion about it made me so mad that I don't even want to take that part time job.... and I wont. I can't work for an organization that endorses hypocritical and condescening, uneducated views like that.

For futher reading.........

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminism

KK.

* Heels and cobblestone are a messy messy combo
** All conversations that I have these days lead to the potentiality of employment....

Hey Nelson! Your Mickey Mouse is Missing An Ear!!

2008-10-10T16:58:00.000-07:00

I had my first job interview, and I just have to tell you alllllll about it.

As you know, I am a sorry excuse for a double degree University Grad, who is currently living at home with her family. Her dysfunctional, dysfunctional family. (Hi Mom. Love you.)

I desperately need a job. Any job. OK, OK, I've only been home from Europe for a week and a half...so I'm not taking just any job at this point..... but you need to feel some sense of urgency and desperation in my writing just so that you understand, just a little, the sheer importance of my prospective employment.

So, there I was on www.craigslist.org....

Sketchiness #1: Craigslist is easily the worst place to find legitimate employment (unless you're looking to be legitimately employed in the sex slave trade) when I come across this marketing position which talks about its commercial and not for profit base.

Interesting, I think to myself.

I google the name attached to the provided email and come up with a website for a Marketing Consulting Firm.

Sketchiness #2: The website lacks things that a legitimate marketing firm has.... like 1. A detailed explanation of what exactly their services are, 2. A client list or an area of specialty, 3. The WORST COMPANY NAME KNOWN TO MAN..... let me just say this: Were I to have taken this job, I would have often been found in my car singing to myself: "La la la...going to work at Sucks ASS" and been incredibly close to the actual company name.

I applied in the morning. Had a phone call in the afternoon. Had a job interview the following day.

The next day, with two friends in tow, I pull up to the interview site where I see about 15-20 university aged kids piling out of the building, in which my interview is about to take place in 20 minutes. They have name tags and clip boards and I start to freak out.

I do not do group interviews. I'm almost 25. I have two degrees. I am not applying to be a camp counsellor.

Sketchiness #3: Office is located next to a parole office.

So I carefully, and verbally contemplate ignoring the whole damn thing. I call my mother and she concurs that if there's a bad gut feeling about a thrice sketchy job interview, just don't go.

Naturally, she was more concerned with a gut instinct that i might be killed and my kidneys would be sold on the black market.... where as I was more concerned that I would be applying for a job that wont be able to support my shoe habit, and offered me rice krispy squares as my mid-afternoon snack while I was forced to sing Johny Appleseed.

So, I go in.

Sketchiness #4: The office is an empty space with white walls, a grey carpet and has 3/4 doors shut. There are 8 waiting chars lining the main room, and a reception kiosk type thing that looks like it has just been left there, with a slightly snazzy LCD flat screen suspended on the wall.

Sketchiness #5: The receptionist starts asking me how I got my job in Europe and what websites she could use to look into it.

Sketchiness #6: My interviewer looks like Howie Mandel.

So, Howie invites me in to his office after making me fill out some type of questionnaire.

Did I mention that I (my mother) bought me a new suit for this?????

Howie has a desk, a book shelf, three plush chairs and some frames on the wall from IKEA circa 07.

Sketchiness #7: Howie is the President of the company, yet does not own a computer.

Howie is not a dull knife...he ZERO'd in on my health background and immediately started talking about his not for profit clients.

You know those people at the mall? The ones who stand at a booth and ask you to donate to WORLD VISION? He wanted me to do that. Of course, he wanted me to do that with the possibility of becoming a manager in 6 months..... which I guess means that I get to be the one to schedule the mall set ups.... ya right.

Sketchiness #8: Howie pretty much locked me in his office until I agreed to start work on Wednesday.

He's just one of those shmarmey sales people that doesn't give you the room to say No, so while you're walking away with regret, he's laughing because he's got your money. I prefer to make people believe in what I'm selling them, and have them walk away knowing that they bought something good, excited to use it.

So, I agreed.

And then I called the next day and quit.

That's right kids, I was employed for 24 hours.... without pay.

Thank god for the Canadian Thanksgiving, which will provide enough familial drama to keep me distracted from my lowly social status ....

KK.

Oh How the Wars Blunder On

2008-10-07T13:00:00.000-07:00

Update on wars:

First front avec Phone Company:

Status: won
Booty of war: $600 refund and a free blackberry

Second Front avec le Metro Police in Paris:

Status: On going.
Strategy: tickets, fines and perfect flawless french translation of what happened (thanks to Sofia) awaiting mailing on the hall table.

Third Front avec the Travel Insurance Company Re: phone and Camera...

Status: I forgot about this.
Strategy: Get on it.

KK

What to Write..What to Write

2008-10-06T16:56:00.000-07:00

Well I've been back in the country for what? 6 days.... And it's all gone to hell in a hand basket.

I've already made out with someone that I used to date....which, I believe made him think that we were going to date once again. Which I suppose is actually true since I agreed to go out for dinner tonight..... hmmm... perhaps he has a point.

But I'm just not in a good headspace for anything right now, I need to get all of my little duckies lined up in a row... You know?

Oh faithful blog.... I know that you know

Then I accidentally kissed a guy (back) that I used to go to college with*...... Something I never wanted to do because, quite frankly, he's too much like me. He doesn't do relationships either... which might make you think that we'd work well, but with my penchant for wanting what I can't have and what not, it's better to just avoid that situation since I know how unwavering I can be, and therefore how unwavering he can be. Besides, I'm pretty sure that he'd make out with just about anyone....so.......

Speaking of people that will just make out with anyone, also at my coming home party was a guy that I went on like one date with like 2 years ago. And he brought a friend. For me. Nice gesture, I suppose. His friend hit on me, hit on my friend J, and then hit on all of my other friends the next night at Girls night, which they crashed........ special. And then people wonder why I don't call or text? Uhhhh............der?

I'm simply not interested in being the correct answer on a multiple choice quiz.... I'm an essay question! One right answer....and it's a doooooozey.

I'm so man hating right now. If I had myspace my mood would be Man Hating.

KK.

* The alleged kissing may have happened at 4 am, at his house, in his bed when I was accidentally locked out of my friends apartment for the night....... and I definitely remedied the situation by immediately falling asleep and sneaking out really early in the morning before he woke up. The firemen that work across the street from him clearly think that I'm a whore. Nice.

The dust has settled....

2008-10-02T14:57:00.000-07:00

And the winner is...............ME!!!!!!!
they credited me ALL charges!!!!! And a free Blackberry.......... WHAT.

Only 12 hrs on the phone and half my sanity invested.....

sahweeeeeeeeeeeet

....But you Say He jusT A friend

2008-10-02T10:51:00.000-07:00

So, where was I?

Oh yes... my cell phone company is one giant douche.

Here is an excerpt from yesterday's conversation.... which I am AGAIN writing to you while on hold with them...

Me: Well you see Sir, while there are legitimate charges, I'm more concerned with the ones that aren't since my phone has been dialing out BOTH random numbers and recalling numbers from my contact list.

Patronizing Customer Service Douche: Well, I suppose that I could give you the benefit of the doubt and erase these charges to numbers such a 99-999-99-99....

Me: Benefit of the doubt?

Patronizing C.S.D.: Well... I don't know... they could be numbers in Italy for all I know....

Me: Well Sir, I can assure you that they aren't. I have never heard of a country code, a city code and a phone number all being comprised of the same digit.....

P.C.S.D: Well before I erase those charges perhaps we can arrange a payment

Me (realizing that he is holding the prospect of erasing charges that are totally illegitimate int he first place hostage until I agree to his demands): Sir, paying the bill is not the problem.... the problem, is that there are a great number of illegitimate charges for which I refuse to pay. I think that you can see the problem, when I come home from almost a year in Europe to a huge phone bill and no service.......Especially when I pay hundreds of dollars a month in phone bills (I do... I pay like 300 a month when I live here....seriously)

P.C.S.D: Well we did text msg you to let you know of the suspension...

Me: Yea, you mean the text messages that you then CHARGE me for? And, Ya I would have been alerted if the hardware you sold me wasn't defunct and I could receive and read text messages on my screen.....

P.C.S.D: I don't know what to tell you.... we value you as a customer.

Me: I'm going to swing by the telus store today, just so you know.

P.C.S.D: Uhhhhhhhh.....

Seriously, this is the bullshit that I'm dealing with. the only helpful person was a tech support, whom I was instructed to call despite the fact that my phone is useless...and she simply explained that everyone else is a douche and that the software sometimes does this..... and she can't do anything to help because her job is to troubleshoot hardware, not software.

OK OK so she didn't use those words.... but that's my interpretation.

I'll keep you updated.

KK.

UPDATE: They apologize for my continuing to remain on hold, and their next customer service Representative will be happy to help me.......

uh huh

What Choo Want...Baby I got It

2008-10-02T05:51:00.000-07:00

I'm back in the great White North...as evidence, Mother Nature sent me some lovely frost this morning... oh to be back in bed.

Let's just clear a few things up, so as to appropriately preface my cynicism for everyone.

I move home after about a year of living and working in Europe. I knew that my contract was expiring so, it wasn't unexpected. But now....

....I'm unemployed, and living with my parents and my brother. I've only been in this pathetic state for 35 hours and I want to stab myself with a butter knife.

I've already sent out emails to old bosses and jobs that I really thought that I would never want to return to. I just want an apartment of my own........and possibly to have my phone reconnected... too much to ask?

Apparently.

Furthermore, I hate my cell phone company because they are being totally asinine........ I had thought of waiting to spew this story, but since I am , again, sitting on hold with them and they seem to be experiencing a larger volume of calls than usual... I may as well write about it now.

I kept my North American cell phone while in Europe, because I love it and I'm addicted to it. I stripped it of excess accessories like daytime minutes because I was only going to use it in extreme emergencies... and so I did, as I had a Swiss cell phone anyway.

I had used it a few times and was totally on top of payments until about August. Finally, I look at it, which I don't do often because it sits nicely on my dresser because I don't need it, right?

Well all of a sudden, the LCD is cracked.

How the hell did that happen????

Then it turns out that it's been randomly dialing out numbers............. AT 2 DOLLAR A MINUTE ROAMING FEES.

I do not deny that I've used it.... but rarely. like 10 times in the last 9 months........... So WHAT THE HELL.

Finally, I get in touch with this "customer service representative" who is easily the MOST patronizing person EVER....

Man, i understand that your job sucks but really... REALLy.....

OK, i have to run, I'm sorry kids. I'll finish this story up this afternoon....

Do you mind?

Of course you don't!

KK

Overheard on the Plane

2008-10-01T16:52:00.000-07:00

Annoying Hippie couple getting drunk to other hippie: Oh.... we're artists too. What kind of scultping do you do? Marble? Clay? Wire?

Other Annoying Hippie: Paper Mache.

Update Pt. 2

2008-09-29T03:35:00.000-07:00

I felt that this was too funny not to share.

This is the email to my mother, MammaKav.... regarding my airport pick up time...

To:MammaKav@yaright.com
From: KateKavnaughwrites@gmail.com

hey it's your darling daughter...........
I'll be arriving at 2 05 pm, your time tomorrow.
I like roses, but a welcome home bouquet of any type of flower will suffice.... I suppose. Except for carnations, what a hideous flower*...And please, this time... try to keep the banners to a minnimum. Nothing flashy or glittering... it's so embarassing.**I also accept diamonds as a welcome home present... as well as cash, cheque or money order...(just so you know)***

Also, I met this awesome troupe of happy people in the airport today while showing H. off..... I'm going to bring them home with me. They were dressed as indians and singing and dancing..... Hare Krishna.... heard of them? Please make up 5 extra beds for my new friends.... (joking).****
Can't WAIT to see you!!! The weather in Paris is gorgeous but I am SOO sick of dealing with their police officers.... long story, I'll tell you in the car. (no, I was not arrested)*****
Love you Muchos.
K.

* The last time my parents got me flowers was my fifth grade play, Bye Bye Birdie. I have since gone to Europe twice and graduated two university degrees..... so this is unlikely
** Banners..... Slightly more unlikely than the flowers. Banners with glitter.... slightly more unlikely than hell freezing over.
*** If flowers and banners are unlikely..... then really.... must I make another analogy? I think not.
**** I think that this was her second biggest fear... me joining a cult. The first being me running off and getting married. Priorities.
***** Please see the third post from this one for further details

Last Day in Paris

2008-09-29T03:20:00.000-07:00

Today is my last full day in Paris. I love this city. Even their Police men. I wish I had more time to write, and perhaps I will find that time in the airport tomorrow in the early hours of the morning, but until then you will have to suffice with a small update.

UPDATE:

1. Complaint filed with the Metro people. It looks like I miiiiight just win this war. Cross your fingures for me. I will, however, have to keep batteling from my homeland. Which I will.

2. I will also keep battleing with my travel insurance company over the fate of my North American Cell phone and Camera which were broken enroute to Florence*

3. The third front continues between me and my North American Phone company who feel that I owe them 600 DOLLARS....... Ya. Right. It's not my fault that their shitty phone call out bound, and I am unaware because the LCD cracked.... which is also not my fault, seeing as it has sat either on a table or in a protected case for the past 7 months.

* It's a complete lie. My phone did not break en route to Florence..... I'm jsut claiming it because it DID break on my travels, although I have no idea how and I paid them a rediculous amount of money, and they have stupid rules like claiming within 24 hours... so I just claimed it as the same time as my camera.

This three front war is going to leave me exhausted and more cynical that I started, which is a shame.... because I need to start interviewing for jobs and what not.

In other news, H. and I had a lovely meal last night for our last official night in Paris together... she left this morning. I admitted that I have already started to miss ManFriend, in a sad and pathetique (on my side) and unexpected turn of events. I wonder if he misses me too... I wonder this because I am female and it is an innate and expected currisosity, No?

It's so strange to have someone go from being such a large part of your life to being almost non-existant.... which is what distance and a broken cell phone do to you.....

After I bored her with that conversation long enough, we talked about our pathetic lack of prospects back in the big Canada. There are none. Zip. Ziltch. Notta.

So, back to blogging about politics and unemployment for me..... You think I was bitter before? Baby, you ain't seen nothing yet....

K.

P.S. Spell check does not work for whatever reason... so you all get to see what a truly and incredibly crap speller I am...... Je suis Desole.

Dear Paris... Love you... Love your ambience... Love your Style... Hate your Metro Police

2008-09-27T15:48:00.000-07:00

I am absolutely enraged, which is generally the only reason that I would be sitting in the business centre of a hotel, at 1 am writing on my blog instead of in my comfy comfy king size bed.

The complimentary slippers are a slight consolation though.

Tonight was girls night out in Paris. H. and I met up with a friend of mine from Switzerland... well, she's actually an American in Switzerland, now transplanted to Paris... We shall name her.... American Transplant.* So, H. and I met up with American Transplant and one of her friends right downtown at a beautiful spot overlooking the Eiffle Tower for some drinks and then dinner.

Drinks were had** and food was enjoyed, as were the company and conversation. I always enjoy being around American Transplant... she's one of the most grounded and sensible people I know that still manages to get every last drop out of life. It's rejuvinating.***

We decide to go on to the lively Latin Quarter to show H. the sights and sounds of the city. I was also excited because while I have been in Paris often, and often claim that it feeds my soul (in a slighty melodramatic way)... I've never been able to see the arts and festivities that the Latin Quarter is so famous for.

We get to the Metro stop and start souring for metro ticket vendors. There are none at this particular stop, so American Transplant and her equally petite friend go in together. Luckily, H. and I have our own extra tickets, because being giants and all... we would have a tough time fitting through together.

Now here's the obnoxious part. American Transplant & Co. get stopped by the Metro Police. OK...OK.... I mean, there were no ...and I mean NO obvious vending points, so clearly they were supposed to walk to the next Metro stop to get the appropriate ticketage... Sure, whatever.... but THEN....

Then as I'm walking through my ticket doesn't work. My bad, they all look the same to me, and I don't just throw them on the gournd, once used, like everyone else because I've been swiss-if-ied... so I ask H. to pass me another one from my purse, since we bought like a thousand. I play a game of trial and error with the machine, and finally I win and it lets me through.

My prize, you ask?

A 50 Euro fine from the ticket agent. Why? Because apparently I used an old ticket.

Umm. No. I didn't. I used a new ticket. Which is why he was able to fine me on the other side of the gate, because it let me through. Because it was a new ticket. Because you can't reuse old ones.****

Now, you see I had the great misfortune of being raised by several strong Irish women. If I'm wrong, I'll take my lumps, but if I'm right... I'm right, and you'll take yours.

So I may have yelled and made a small scene, which he quickly ushered to the side. He threatened to call the police, and it was CLEAR that I was contemplating it. But, at the end of the day, I wanted to get on with our night. American Transplant fronted me the cash, since at this point I'm all MasterCard or bust.

Naturally, I left him with the ominous threat of submitting a complaint and asking for his badge number. Once back at the hotel, I spoke to the concierge. He told me that I should have had the police come and that those silly little Metro Rent-A-Cops are known for harassing tourists and that they give all french people a bad name.

Honestly, I wouldn't go thhhat far... but it clearly could have been all settled if he has just LISTENED to me. But he didn't, so tomorrow I go to the police Dept to file a complaint. I will get you Mr. Badge number 5143*****.... I will get you.

I am, however, happy to report that the Latin Quarter did not disappoint. Besides the fire throwing Gypsies by Notre Dame, my favorite would have to be the 8 piece band of random rag tag boys....... two trombones, two drums, 1 clarinet, 1 trumpet, a sax and a TUBA! Not only did they play, but they danced as they played.... The talent abounded and we ended up watching them for like 5 songs because it was just THAT hard to walk away. It's kind of like one of them rolled out of bed and said "Shit, I got stuck playing the trombone in the highschool band.... easily the least sexy instrument....what am I going to do..." So he called the guy with the Tuba (the only guy in the band with worse sexy-insturment troubles than him) and they decided to start a busking group. And I thank God that they did. Made my night.

Well, I hope that this post was less confused and messy like the last 5... travelling just kills my focus. You understand, right?
No, of course you don't.
I'll do better next week. I swear.

KK.

*If you'd prefer, I can go back and rename you Princess Devine...?
** Kirch Chamapagne.... cherry cream champanage... Ammmmazing.
*** I'm not just sucking up because she reads my blog and I'm staying at her house in a few nights...I swear
**** I recognize the ciruclar logic here, but he clearly couln't understand me so I just wanted to doubley make sure everyone else did.
***** NOT his real badge number...

Back Under the Tuscan Sun

2008-09-24T08:57:00.000-07:00

I love Tuscany! Just love it. I was born to live and breath the Tuscan air.

People are already giving me the death stare for being on the computer for so long.... but I have been so hungover all day that this is a massive accomplishment to even make it this far... So they can bite me.

Plus, we're leaving as soon as H. gets back from her solo bike tour. I don't share roadways with Italian drivers....

Yesterday, H. and I found a little restaurant in this side alley and quickly struck up a friendship with our waitor.... also, the owner as it turned out. We mentioned that we wanted to go to a vineyard and do a wine tasting thing.... so instead of mentioning that he, in fact owns a vineyard.... he invites us back to the restaurant that evening to go through the wine cellar and have a tasting of our own.

What he meant was.... come to my retaurant, eat dinner, and I will just keep opening bottles of my own wine from my own vineyard and putting them on the table. OK.

Next thing we know, it's just us and the owner, E., a few servers, and a buyer for gucci from Japan* left in the restaurant. 6 people walk in and suddenly everyone is lively and preparing. These 6 people are apparently a big deal. BIG.

Turns out they are Italian movie stars. I still have no idea who they are or in what they performed, and to be honest, I don't really care. But it was cool none the less. After they left, we all headed to the Irish pub.

If 5 bottles of wine wasn't the first mistake, then having a guiness after WAS.

H. was sleepy so I took her back home, but E. The restaurant owner was all insitant on taking me up to some piazza. H. didn't think that it was a good idea.

I don't seem to see the problem with jumping on the back of a vespa, driven by a man I don't know and going to an unknown location in a forgien country.... So, I did what any girl would do in my situation, I lied to H. and told her I wasn't going and once she was in bed, I strapped on a helmet and ran out the door.

Turns out I'll take you this romantic piazza is double speak for: lets go back to the restaurant.

He gave me a tour of the kitchen.... because I don't care.... and then took me to the wine cellar. OK, I may have been drunk and made several bad decisions up until this point but I think we can all agree that E. had a little wine cellar nookie in mind.

I did not.

He tired to kiss me.... and I mean tried because I don't conisder a tounge jetting out at you anything more than a mere attempt.

In life I have found that the easiest way to get control of a situation is to act like you already have it. So, I took a step back, turned around and grabbed two bottles of wine from his cellar.... and then said: 'Yes, these two will do lovely as presents.... Thanks a lot!' And I put on my helmet and walked to the door.

It was a risky move.... but it worked. I don't recomend trying it at home kids.

I was back at my hostel (Academy in Florence...best hostel ever) within 20 minutes and on the phone with Man Friend as he left for work and I went to bed.

* I totally checked his labels.... like while he was still wearing his clothes. Nothing spectacular.

Disclaimer: Although I did something rediculously stupid, if you want blog priveledges, you can not lecture me ..... Mom.

Tuscana... Where my Heart is...

2008-09-22T13:51:00.000-07:00

I'm back in Tuscany... finally. I was born to live under the Tuscan sun.... I learned this about 4 months ago while camping on the beach in PuntAla for two weeks.

I am not a camper. My hair does not agree with the hair dryer-less ways of camping and campers.... but I loved it. I decided then and there that I could live in a trailer by the beach in Tuscany for the rest of my life.

Also very unlike me.

I also called my mother and immediately informed her that I was foregoing her Grandchildren and using the disposable income to purchase a Tuscan villa which she will then be allowed to use and housesit like a giant, non baby gross, non diaper wearing grandchild.

That IS very like me.

In OTHER news, www.fuelmyblog.com is going to be interviewing me. I'm begining to suspect that this blog of the day and subsequent interview are not as special as I originially thought.... however I am going to keep that information away from my id. Ego and Super Ego push it around enough already.... my Id needs some hope to hang on to.

Also, before I go.... (there is always a huge wait for computers at this place and I hate... HATE european keyboards so don't expect many posts for the rest of the week)...

Someone noticed... OK a few people noticed that I have yet to make a clear and concise comment on PALIN.

Ya....

Brace yourself.

I like her. She is a frickin' firecracker. The woman knows how to crash a party and then throw down her own soundtrack and start rocking out again... you know?

And anyone who calls herself a hockey mom has any Canadians attention.

That being said........ I don't agree with a damned thing she stands for or supports.

Therefore I don't support her as a politician or the next VP of the USA.... because while you might like someones spirit.... that is NOT a good reason to vote for them.

And I will also say this.... While I recognize that Evolution is a THEORY, and thus can never be proven.....

Creationists are stupid.

For proof:

OK I cant find the Youtube video where they say that big trees are not just small trees all grown up but rather have always been big trees, and that little trees dont grow into big trees, instead god makes them in different sizes and they remain that size....

But I will when i have my laptop back.... and you wont be sorry.

.............tech update: my laptop, camera and cellphone are all now broken. Next stop ...Travel insurance claim.

KK.

Sittin' in Italia

2008-09-20T01:40:00.000-07:00

What I forgot to mention in the last post is that all greek cab drivers are trying to kill H. and I.

They seriously want us to die via a high speend game of chicken with the Greek Equivalent of a MAC truck... Mu Alpha Chi???

Miraculously we made it to our ferry, on time and without spilling any blood. I am still a bit foggy as to how this was achieved, but it was, and therefore I am satisfied.

The ferry was a frickin cruise ship with a disco and food and a movie theater and a casino. We ordered a bottle of wine and got cozy with our books after watching BAYWATCH and 90210 reruns...

Things you didn't think that you'd be doing in the Adriatic sea...

So there we were, totally emmersed in the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants when some Australian guys came up and started chit chatting. They all work in the UK and bought a crap ass van to drive around Europe. The next morning, they offered us a ride into town in said crap ass van.

They weren't lying.... it smelled of crap ass... or frat boys... or boys in general.

Ew.

Infact, I think the Van was instrumental in the OBVIOUS profiling that accompanies 5 20 somethings in a crap ass hippy van as we were pulled over by Italian authorities and instructed that the drug dogs were going to sniff through our stuff.

I wasn't worried because I know that H. and I don't have any... but then it hit me. What if these guys that we JUST met....do?

Afterall, they ARE driving a crap ass hippey van.

SHIT.

We never got a chance to find out... H. and I got out of the van as instructed and smiled and chatted about being Canadian and they let us go immediately, after we assured them that we were not on our way to Amsterdam.

This situation put the hamster in my head on overdrive and I came up with a top 5 list...

What NOT to say to a Customs Official after he asks if you have any drugs on you or in your vehicle.

5. I don't, but he might.

4. No, sir. I smoked it earlier... Know where I can find a Pizza hut?

3. Marijuana? No. But I have some cocaine if you'd like...

2. Is that illegal here or somethin? What if I have glaucoma... you know... hypothetically.

1. No, sir. But, do you know where I could buy some??

................ Bad hamster! Bad!

Ciao for now!

KK.

Back in the not-so-dingy Dingy Gamer Internet Cafe

2008-09-19T03:40:00.000-07:00

OK. So by now you're all wondering what has been going on... aren't you. C'mon admit it. Alright, so you're probably just bored at work and hoping that there's something new to pass the time with....

Well... THERE IS!

We'll start from the beginning so as to not miss anything, shall we? Yes... the conclusion of the Tido saga IS included.

H. and I left le Suisse in order to begin our magnificent, wonderful, amazing adventure early on Monday morning... and by early... I mean around noonish. We made our way to Milan, Italy where we were staying for a night before catching a flight to Greece.

My Milanese friend, Davide picked us up and took us to an amazing dinner. That we slightly couldn't afford. Hot Milanese Highrollers sometimes forget about the little guy and their little purses... but my big big pride forced me to pay the whole bill anyway.... after all he did host me for an entire weekend and take amazing care of me and my stomach. "You write? No NO.... You sit... You Write... I cook, I do everything... You... You relax" O-frickin'-K.

The following morning we were conned (read: easily convinced) to take a taxi ALL THE WAY TO THE AIRPORT IN ANOTHER TOWN.... because we were late. Do you want to know why we were late? Because the cab took a HALF hour to get there. Our Asian-Italian hostel guy knew like two words in English... "one moment...." So, we thought.... hey.... one moment.

We thought wrong.

Finally, we got to the airport, boarded the plane and I immediately began to sleep. Anytime I'm on any moving apparatus or machine, I fall asleep. I call it car-calepsy. It serves a higher function than passing the time though... it keeps me from the EXTREME motion sickness that would otherwise ensue.

I was abruptly and rudely woken up to a man getting very defensive with a very passive stewardess that was doing her best to seem confident and stern. I was really rooting for her... Then I found out why they were arguing.

This guy, we shall name him 'Class-A Idiot' felt that two hours was too much to go without a smoke, and lit up in the bathroom. The bathroom right behind me. Now, forget about all the gaseous materials pressurized in the holding tank of a GIANT tin tube.... forget about the spark caused by a) lighting the cigarette) and then by b) extinguishing the cigarette... IN the holding tank via flushing... Did you know that if someone lights up in an airplane... BY LAW if they don't find the cigarette butt, they have to LAND the plane?

He almost ruined my Athenian adventure. Did I also mention that he had "SKINHEAD" tattooed on the side of his neck?
No?
Well I am now.
Someone should have stayed home in his trailer park and let the rest of us live our lives peacefully... he truly is an asshat of the worst kind. I hope he gets gonorrhea.

Finally, we landed and hustled to the hostel. Tido* was waiting to meet us in the center of Athens so we only had about an hour to get changed and look half decent. We get there and are greeted by huge hugs and kisses.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I didn't feel a damn thing. No butterflies... no happy giddiness. Nothing.

We went for food and I immediately ordered a garlic ridden Gyros without a second thought. With extra onions. H. wasn't super impressed either.

That night we went to his friends place and had a great dinner party over amazing Greek dishes that I have now learned to make. (Yippee... themed dinner parties in my future... I'm thinking toga party meets respectable 20-something attempt to be a 30-something dinner party....)

The next day we headed to the coast with Tido in tow. He is REALLY American.... and 22... and male. Once at our hotel, he immediately got into a fight with the owner of the hotel as we were attempting to sneak him into our room without paying, also known as "gate crashing."

Hotelier: " excuse me sir.. who are you going to see?"
Tido with excess baggage: "A friend"
Hotelier: "What's your friends name?"
Tido: "He's just my friend"

Oh the shame of being with a bad liar. Note to everyone: being Vague does NOT make it a good lie. If you're asked a specific question, be specific, but stay as close to the truth as not being in trouble with allow.

I intervened and this was the story that ensued: Tido met us while traveling in Athens, he meant to come to the coast but his friends bailed (all true.... left out: I knew him before we met in Athens). We had invited him for dinner and he was helping us with our bags (also all true... except that when he offered to help H. with her bag, he saw a daunting number of stairs ahead of him and proclaimed that the 23 kilo backpack would be easier for her to carry, and he'd take his own heavy 15 kilo bag on wheels.) We were unsure if he was staying the night, but would gladly let them know and pay the extra fee (we did and we did). So at the end of the whole explanation, the only out right lie that I told was that we were unsure if he was going to stay the night.... and even that is a half lie because quite frankly, it was an amazing possibility that he would find a new girl to stay with.** Afterall, as it turns out... he WAS voted "Sluttiest Guy" at his former university.... seriously.

At least that would have been a possibility if we weren't staying at the Holiday version of a Retirement community. Our last night there, after Tido had gone*** we went and had desert in the restaurant. An old Greek man came up to us and kept talking in Greek. I had a confused look on my face and kept shrugging my shoulders while smiling, the international symbol for: "I'm sorry, i don't know what you're saying" but he continued "blahpolous blahpolous blahpolous ****" From his sign language attempts, H. and I gathered that he either wanted to pay our bill or wanted my autograph. This has been known to happen when I wear grubby over sized clothes and am 15 pounds lighter with big sunglasses on... sometimes... just sometimes... I get mistaken for Lindsay Lohan by REALLY stupid people. But he was like 80 something so I doubt that was the case.

Also noteworthy, there are hardly any redheads in Greece. Occasionally I will see a chick with the "I used a sun-in bottle left over from the 90's and it made my hair this coppery color (and texture)" but not any real or real looking reds... interesting. Very interesting.

Anywhoo...we're off to take a cruise to Italy. Hope your desk job is ergonomically sound and enjoyable! Peace out.

KK.

* I had previously stated that the pseudonym, Tido was NOT indicative of the actual guy. But he DID keep telling people that he was Mexican so as it turns out... it is. (he's a rich white kid from northern California who knows enough Spanish to string together a good cheers but that's about it)

**At the end of the day, Tido was like the brother in Law of Anne in the book Persuasion by one, miss Jane Austen. He was ADD to a fault with other people. He couldn't makeup his mind about even following through on a proclamation made moments ago, and he fell in love more times than I care to count in 24 hours. I'd rather Mr. Darcy...calm and intensely focused in life (preferably focused on me...in a non stalker way)

***He's still a really nice kid, and H. and I have decided to adopt him as a little brother and teach him the ways.

**** This is my version of blabh blah blah blah in Greek

I'd Like to Thank The Academy...

2008-09-18T07:37:00.000-07:00

A few days ago I in the "limelight" on http://www.fuelmyblog.com/...

At least this is how I understand it. I'm sitting in a dingy little* internet cafe in Greece right now, and for some reason my ability to comprehend simple sentences goes down significantly after inhaling second hand smoke while surrounded by gaming greek youth...

"You sit here. You wait.... we make computer on for you. It be good.

.. No...No... I say wait."

Just a wierd thing I have.

We leave via cruise ship tomorrow to Italy... which H. and I are full heartedly looking forward to.

I would love love LOVE to update you on the Tido saga, unfortunately I can't right now. **

* It's not dingy. In fact it might be the nicest internet cafe that I've ever been in.....

** He's playing against the gaming youth beside me.

More to follow tomorrow.

KK.

My Last Day as a Citizen of Europe

2008-09-13T23:42:00.001-07:00

This is my last weekend/day residing in Europe. That must be the saddest sentence that I've ever written. I suspect that I will have to come back, sooner rather than later. I love the lifestyle here and the fact that driving for four hours puts me in the capital of a different country...Not the outskirts of the capital of my country.

Dear Canada: You are too big, but I love you anyway.

After signing out of the country, I'm off to Milan, Greece, back to Italy (up through the coast) and then off to Paris for a five day stay before jet setting back to my own continent. Gee, my life is tough.

This past weekend was an OK farewell, which I think that I like better than the fireworks and charades of an over the top good bye. Friday night I had a Good-bye dinner with some friends. This dinner has been the bane of my existence for the last few weeks. I invited some people over for drinks and some food (and hopefully some nice conversation.... possibly even flattery about how much I will be missed), but instead I got weeks of grief over the guest list, friends quarreling, ME quarreling and at the end of the day I was almost tempted to call the whole thing off.
Which is stupid, because I'm leaving. And I should get to see my friends and enjoy their company one last time. In the end it all worked out with an American, Four Canadians, A swiss miss and a South African in attendance. Wine and champagne was had in a big big way and it was perfect. It was the perfect way to say good-bye, with a group of friends chatting, having fun. I miss them all already.

The next day we went to a city on the other side of the country.

Back story: H met a cute boy on the train... facebook stalking ensued and we mentioned that we would be in his town on Saturday. He offered lunch and a tour (exactly what we had planned for him to ask) and we said "SURE."

So we went by train, for a few hours to meet him in the rain and cold. He was really amazingly nice. For some reason, I always expect that my friends are going to date total losers or jerks... probably because most of the time, they do. *sorry, you know it's true*

He took us around the town and to the Olympic Museum.

I could care LESS about the Olympics. I didn't even watch them this year. I'm all for the idea of building mutual respect and a peace platform through international sport and competition, but I just dont care about mens gymnastics, or womens gymnastics for that matter.

H. loved it though.

At the end of our day, he gave us the obligatory three kisses from cheek to cheek to cheek and we parted ways.

I suspect H. will definitely be keeping in touch with this one. One of the reasons that we are such friends is that we both appreciate a good dating story..... or a good date. And an international "date for three" fits both categories quite snuggly.

Today, I'm finishing packing and probably spending the better part of the day reminiscing and lamenting about my time here. I wouldn't expect anything chipper from me for a while... although a 4 start hotel in Greece with Tido is NOT something to simply deign for.

KK.

Solution!

2008-09-13T12:49:00.000-07:00

One of my readers has a problem.... a conundrum of sorts, really.

Anonymous writes:

You and your queer pal are riotous. You, with your fleeting moments of "genius" are about as useless as rubber lips on a woodpecker -with the one exception: divertissement.

Suggested Solution: Stop Reading It.

Hope that helps!

KK.

Purple Jacket Magpie

2008-09-12T02:28:00.001-07:00

Purple Jacket Magpie

I just finished booking my trips through Greece, Italy and Paris... I've some how managed to pull a few luxury hotels in to the mix and I'm still scratching my head as to how I pulled it off but I did and I'm really excited about it.

H. and I start our 3 week adventure in about 4 days, and we're both pretty excited about the prospects. Anyway, I will be updating at least once a week, so fret not.

I'm going to use today to address a comment, since I'm not doing anything adventurous but packing up my apartment, which you completely do not want to hear about. So boring, and the little dramas that occur in packing up your life are too aggravating to recount.

A few days ago, Geek In The Pink wrote:

First of all, I am not going to respond to the anonymous coward who thinks you should stick to "what you are good at", as it would be a waste of typing.

Second, I am very interested in your political stance. When i say interested I mean that in a positive way. So you answered my question very well. You are obviously a democrat when discussing the United States, but I am having trouble figuring out which Canadian political party you support. I've always been a supporter of the PC party, however lately I have found myself leaning more as a liberal (provincially). Don't get me wrong, I will not vote for Dion because of his obvious incompetence. I think Harper has done an excellent job in some of the areas of Canada, but do you not agree that Harper has taken a larger interest in the events occurring in the middle east? Whether you call them peacekeepers or soldiers of war, they are still there fighting. By glorifying a name only masks the situation, it does not improve it.

There is not much use of discussing NDP or Green Party because NDP has never worked in Canada (at least not lately) and Green Party is just a recycled conservative party.

1. Thanks. I find that person to be utterly obnoxious as well.

2. I'm a card carrying Liberal, but I vote on issues, not people or parties. The Liberal ideology tends to coincide with my stance on the issues. I do, however, find Dion to be a whiny prat some times. It's like loving a certain restaurant but all of a sudden the waitstaff are total incompetent jerks.... I'm so torn.
I also believe in a multi party system, and if the majority don't agree with me, that means that our system is doing it's job. So long as everyone understands that I am always right and somewhat of a supreme genius (That was a joke.... for those of you who are thinking to call me arrogant again**)

3. Let me preface this answer quickly: I believe in the military, and I support them. I am so happy to have brave men and women willing to die for my freedom, because let's face it... I'm obviously not going to die for it myself. In fact, I support them so much that I think it's ludicrous to see them lose their lives while fighting a war on the ground that does not match up with the war being fought in the international political arena.
Canada has always had a vested interest in Peace and Peace processes in Afghanistan. CIDA was on the ground for years before this mess, they were only pulled out when the USA decided to go in. And, they were doing a good job.
Harper is involved because he's a typical man and he likes to fix things. I don't know that he's spent too much time and effort over there. I think his thinking is in the right place ... we're never going to be able to pull our troops out ahead of the USA (despite the fact that we're now front line on someone else's war because they chose to fight another front....in another country).
Harper reminds me of my father.... sadly. If you have to do a job that you don't really want to do.... get it done quicker, and faster and better than everyone else. Be an asshole to deal with, but be the asshole that gets it all done.
I'd love to see more diplomacy, but to be honest, I know one of the CIDA members who had been on the ground in Afghanistan and diplomacy only works if two parties are willing to be diplomatic. Harper can't reach out the olive branch himself, he'd have to do it on behalf of the United States as a neutral third party negotiator. But he's not neutral...and we can't be because we rely on the United States. We're not powerful or rich enough to be neutral on anything. I'd love to see some more CIDA involvement and education programs in the rural parts of Afghanistan... because do you know what happens when hordes of young boys are forced into idle displacement camps (by Western troops) for their own safety? They get bored. Do you know what happens when a bored teen aged boy gets a gun and someone preaching ideology to him? Ya, here we call it gang warfare.... there we call it terrorist training.
Does Harper neglect domestic affairs in favor of international? Yes. Is it impossible to balance them equally? I'd say Yes again, but some Trudeau supporters may have a different mind frame.

4. I love that the NDP is our third party. They keep our domestic and social agendas in check. I feel that their minimal status is what keeps Canada great. Would I ever want to see them rule the roost? No. But they are a good way to swing your vote if you feel like either of the other fore runners are getting too many seats and aren't focusing on domestic problems.

5. You think the Green Party is useless? Look up our Humanist party. Sorry Jayz. But isn't it nice to know that someone cares if you have enough water to drink in 30 years? I know I like water....and being hydrated. Think of how life threatening keg parties would be if you didn't have enough water to replenish your H20 the next day during a wretched Hangover....

**Did you know that 50% of things said in jest are actually true?***

*** Did you know that 50% of statistics are made up?

Thanks for the comment, I hope I hit the points you were asking... I'm kind of a tangent seeker.

KK.

I commented

2008-09-11T07:02:00.000-07:00

OK I do have a post, a very long and thought out post that I wanted to post today in response to a comment.

However, but it's Sept 11th, and I think that the politics of war should be reserved for another day. Like tomorrow, so check back then.

A tragedy is a tragedy no matter your political affiliation.

KK.

Jane Austen .... Oh How She Speaks to Me

2008-09-09T09:03:00.000-07:00

Jane Austen was the literary genius who steals my heart and soul with every romantic turn, gesture and utterance of her suave and intense characters. i love her and she speaks to me. I think that she speaks to a lot of women.

Jane Austen harnesses the incredibly delicate balance between desired independence, and the cohabitation of feminine independence in all of it's unbridled furry. Women often find the two to be mutually exclusive, which is why we constantly have inner battles about probabilities and possibilities between career, and romance.... and the ever eternal debate on soul mates. Jane figured it out, way back in the 19th century.

She loved and lost, and was termed an old spinster for her older years. For me, she is my muse. A goddess divine that society restricted from the only man who would and could have her without extinguishing her, so she chose to live on and inspire her minions for centuries to come. And for that, I thank her.

That being said, I have read and re-read many a Jane Austen book. Except for Persuasion. That one seems to be elusive to me. Perhaps I'll purchase and pack for Greece. Anyway, H. brought a book by SHANNON HALE called AUSTENLAND. Bigupps Shannon, this book rocked my socks for the entire 24 hours that it took me to read it, while balancing a full time job, a house guest and personal hygiene.

H said that this book reminded her of me. The main character, obsessed with the thoughts of Mr. Darcy (our charming hero, notably the love of kira knightley in the movie adaptation of Pride and Prejudice).... She's convinced that there's no man as intense and wonderful as him in real life, and resorts back to her DVD player constantly to renew her faith that he is alive, even if it is only as a character, in a movie box, played by Colin Firth.

Main character you ask? Her name is Jane.

She's then whisked away to a 19th century wonderland to find or get over her Mr Darcy love forever.

Go out, and buy this book NOW. I'm serious, do it. I wont ruin the end for you, but I will say this: Jane Austen always stated that her characters would, in the end, receive their hearts desire.... Hale sees that this is true for her character as well.

After I finished reading, I smiled for 4 hours straight, re-lived the parts of majesty and started to plot my wait for my own intense and perfect Mr. Darcy.... because sometimes a good book has that effect on me, and I love it.

H. has decided that she needs to re-read it because it made me so giddy.

Dear Shannon Hale,

You will never read this, but just so you know, you now rank as a "literary goddess divine" in my book. Thank you for lending me your imagination for 24 short and amazing hours.

KK.

P.S. Geek In The Pink... I haven't forgotten about you. However, swooning and political rantings ARE very much mutually exclusive, give me until tomorrow, will ya?
P.P.S. Jason Mraz song.... interesting pseudonym.

And In The Red Corner...

2008-09-07T14:24:00.000-07:00

I JUST received this comment:

"So there I am, fishing for more, when he says: "Don't worry, you'll find lots of idiots like me in your life..." He's right. I will. But for now, he's one of my favorite idiots."

Wow. I thought you were really smart, but what I'm finding is you are just really arrogant. I'd stick to what you're good at unless your goal is to be an "old maid." I wonder how Man Friend would feel if he read this. Then again, maybe he has and enjoys being belittled.

1. Thanks for thinking that I was really smart. I appreciate that, although I generally deal in opinions, which are pretty much fair game.

2. Ummmm...ya. Sometimes I am arrogant, *and as an aside, when did being really smart and being arrogant become mutually exclusive? But this is not one of those times. This is me being realistic. And realistically speaking, I will meet more men in my lifetime, just as he will go on to meet more women in his lifetime (in fact he never really stopped... nor did I... and if this bothers you, then you should read Man Friend pt 1. Where I describe the nature of our relationship.) I get to spend one more week with Man Friend, which I'm happy about. He's an amazing person and I'm glad I met him. Am I going to pine over the inevitable? No. I'm not. And neither is he.

3. Old Maid? Last time I checked, this was the twenty first century, Lady. (I assume you're a chick).... If I want to grow old on my own, I will, and I can. Perhaps you need someone to define yourself on this earth, but I think I do a pretty good job of defining myself without a man. Sooo uhhh ya. Basically, I'm not marrying this guy no matter what kind of ominous threats about being old and alone and "maid" like you throw my way. (And I think he's probably pretty happy about that too).

4. Man Friend is really into respecting my privacy. So, even if he had read it, I highly doubt that he would comment on it to me.
Also, seeing as he was THERE for the conversation, I'm betting my bottom dollar that he wouldn't be upset that I'm "belittling him" seeing as he wasn't when I said it to his face.
Also, he's almost 40, so I'm guessing he's already figured out that sometimes people come in and out of our lives, and no matter how much we truly enjoy them, it's not the end of the world if they move back to their little corner of the world.

5. In summation, you're kind of an asshat. Either I know you, and you're using an anonymous forum on my blog to leave a public passive aggressive message, or you're just a very sad little person that likes to make judgments on people without knowing the full context of someones conversation or greater relationship. Either way, you're a douche.

I like to respond to comments, good or bad. But I'd like to state now, for the record, that if you comment on my blog, I retain the right to re-post it and call you whatever names I like.

P.S. I know boys hella better than I know Politics...

KK.

I went missing.... I'm sorry

2008-09-05T23:49:00.000-07:00

Yes, I went missing while the Republican Convention was starting up. I'm sorry. And we will get to that. Perhaps I should subtitle this post.... Here goes:

Man Friend and Co.

Man Friend and I have managed to hang on to the last few weeks of things, via me being a giant bitch and demanding it. Here's the thing ladies... Men aren't mind readers, sometimes you have to tell them up front what you want and how you want them to deliver. Aka: "I'm here for one more week and I want you to be a part of it.... No No... That wasn't a question. Just a statement."

It worked. We're all hunkey dorey... at least until he realizes that it's soon a matter of days before I'm gone, rather than the matter of weeks...

A few nights ago, he cleared time in his busy schedule to come over and take care of me. I've been sick forever, it seems. He told me that I've been the only one for a while now, which might have been the nicest thing he's ever said to me. Man Friend isn't really into complimenting, and for some reason, I'm OK with that most days... until he gives me one, and then I'm like a chocoholic at Jenny Craig... I need more....

So there I am, fishing for more, when he says: "Don't worry, you'll find lots of idiots like me in your life..." He's right. I will. But for now, he's one of my favorite idiots.

In fact, I already have. Way back in February, I think about a week after I met Man Friend to begin with, I met this American Boy...we will call himmmm..... Tido.* So, I showed Tido around my city. He was three months into a year long tour around the world, and started with Europe. The first thing I did? I took him for a good old American Burger at an Irish pub. Totally the opposite of what my city is all about, but he loved it. We talked politics over beer**. There was definitely a connection of some kind, but he only had 7 hours in my city before his train left, so it was ill-fated and not even attempted. (At least by me... he tried to get off the train and stay for a few more days... which I had to nix).

Anyway, He emailed me in July and asked if I could meet him in Greece for a weekend at the end of his trip. I immediately called my friend, H. And told her that we were going to Greece while she was here. She didn't have that much of a problem with it.... strange... I just don't say no to first dates in Greece. It's a personal philosophy of mine.

So, Tido and I are meeting in Greece on the 16th for four days... to see "if there's anything there". Unless something unseemly happens.... see: An affair to remember. Sad movie.

POLITICS

I recently received a comment on a previous post, from Geek in Pink.*** Which I will address right now. Geek in Pink writes:

Interesting post. What is your position on Harper's relationship with Bush? Also, do you think that if Obama is elected that it will effect the outcome of Canada's election?

1. Thank you! Although "interesting" is one of those terms that you can use to describe something as ridiculous and useless without actually coming out and saying it.... buttering me up with compliments is always a good strategy, just for future reference.

2. My position on Harper's Relationship with Bush: My first inclination is to say: "What relationship?" Ever since Bush shafted Canada by breaking protocol and visiting Mexico first, we haven't really been all that into him. (That's not true... Canadians have ALWAYS thought he was a douche). Harper has definitely entertained Bush the way that is undoubtedly expected in terms of a Canadian Prime Minister entertaining the president of the United States, but I would not venture to say that he has a "special relationship" with Bush beyond that.

Harper is definitely not Tony Blair, who was in Bush's back pocket, and he's also not Gordon Brown who has made it his utmost goal to NOT be in Bush's pocket.

In my personal opinion, Harper probably views their relationship the same way most Canadians do: Like that annoying aunt or uncle that you are required to invite to Christmas dinner. Sure, they give you a few hundred cash as a Christmas present, which you enjoy, but sometimes you really wonder if it's worth the nuance of having to listen to constant criticisms about your center piece. In the end, you invite them again next year.

3. No. I don't think that if Obama is elected, it will change the outcome of the Canadian election. Mainly because the Canadian election will be held a month before the American election.

I also feel strongly that Harper called the election before the American election because if John McCain wins, Canada is screwed regarding Arctic Sovereignty, and he needs a majority government to be able to do anything. And, if the Liberals win (highly unlikely), then he can wash his hands of any responsibility. Such is the bane of a minority government, you take all the responsibility for everything that your opposition wont let you do.

What about you? What do you think?

KK.

* I don't know why we're calling him Tido.... it just came to me. So highly unrepresentative of the actual guy

** Another thing I learned this weekend is that I can NOT shut up when it comes to Politics. It's sad and disgusting and I need to learn to just shut up!

*** I LOVE comments. Leave more.

Ah,,, I fell in to the Trap..

2008-09-03T02:30:00.000-07:00

Look at me, it's months away from the U.S. election and I'm involved in a smear campaign. I'm a self-hating smear campaigner.

Palin's family should really not be involved in the election process... although I wonder, if this were true in all senses of the words, if other candidates should be allowed to tote around their 2.5 children and their wives in Chanel. Interesting thought. Although I still contend that if you put out a public press release, regarding a familial situation, your personal (as a candidate) choice of semantics is up for public debate (re: "we're proud of her decision" implying that she had a choice, which you are then promising to go on and take the same choice form millions of women and girls in the same position).

Anyway, I think that for the most part, familial matters should be left out of the equation regarding the election process, and voting should be done based on issues and ideals. Not sure if that will ever happen in the greater scheme of things... we Canadians seem to do a good job. But that might be because our candidates give us enough superficial reasons to hate them without having to go beyond to their private lives.

Also, when you think about it, Palin was a good choice for VP. I mean, she has no foreign experience and has only spent nano-seconds on the national scene which is the entire campaign against Obama summed up in a republican running mate, but that aside. She's from Alaska. I keep hearing people say "Alaska? Why Alaska?" (i.e. Puff Daddy in one of his highly inarticulate Youtube videos. Note to him, it's hard to take you seriously as a politically active citizen when you drop the F-bomb every 20 seconds. I mean, I've been known to drop a few myself, but maybe limit it to the parts that you really want to emphasize, ya know?).

So, why NOT Alaska? It's a part of the United States... No?

Doesn't anyone ever wonder why the United States hung on to Alaska? I mean, it could have easily been annexed over to Canada.

It's because way way back, someone was really really smart and decided that Arctic Sovereignty would be a big deal some day. Well, that day is TODAY. Canada has been doing a lot of talking about it (relatively little action.... that's for YOU Mr. Harper. Bring back O'Connor)... Russia has launched submarines and planted flags, and even Denmark has engaged in a bit of capture the flag regarding a small island in the North***. And the States? They've barely mentioned it. Hmmm.... Why is that? How out of character for them to be mute on a subject of global importance.

Unless, Mr. McCain and his Republican advisers have figured it out. An Alaskan VP is just the ticket. They get in to office, and eventually start to drill for oil in the Alaskan wild refuge, which is the plan, and BAM... THEY were the first to drill IN the Arctic for Oil. Making them, the first country to expropriate a renewable resource from a land in the Arctic and use it for more than just a living space. Never mind the Northwest Territories of Canada, and Nunavut... They aren't "Using" the land. And just so you know, there most certainly IS an international treaty that states that if you are NOT using your land, a foreign country can come it and use it....

Interesting move Mr. McCain.... Interesting Move. I'm on to you though.

Unfortunately, I'm just a random blogger that no one really reads or listens to. And the current Canadian Prime Minister, Stephen Harper is a douche bag who cut military funding to our Arctic Sovereignty Project.

Hilariously enough, I don't think that Dion, his opposition and their damned Green stance (good stance, bad time), would do much either. So I'm in a bit of a conundrum for this election, which has been called to take place a month before the American election with little to no pomp and circumstance. Hopefully whoever wins makes use of our Arctic property and absolute priority.

I say we boot them all out and make O'Connor (former Minister of National defense) PM of a Minority Government for 2-3 years.

***I'm referring to Hans Island, a 1.3 km island between Canada and Greenland. For a long time, Denmark would helicopter on over there, take the flag out and then put theirs in, securing arctic sovereignty...and then, 6 months later, Canada would helicopter over there and swap the flags, and the process would repeat. It's still unresolved although I think the flag war has declined or stopped. Forget world hunger... let's appropriate funds to play global capture the flag....

KK.

I'm Getting a Make-Over!

2008-09-02T02:08:00.001-07:00

My darling Twin brother has decided to undertake the aesthetics of my blog with his brand new Macbook. I want one soooo bad, but until 2011, when I might actually have a disposable income, I will have to live vicariously through him. So, expect that some time in the near future.

My Blog makeover has inspired me, and today I felt well enough to work out for a little bit. In light of being accused of having never been skinny in my life, by someone who has known me less than a year, I have felt compelled to prove him wrong. I've lost 3 kilos in a week due to being sick, so I was thinking that I'd try to keep that up with healthy eating and exercise.

So there I was with weights and music, and about to do some sit ups when I went into an enormous coughing fit on the floor. While lying there, I realized that I'm in Europe, and while the wine alone is enough of a reason to NOT diet, I live in the capital of cheese and chocolate. Forget this fitness crap... I'm getting fat. Being skinny is only acceptable in North America where the food sucks.

Speaking of Man Friend. He's pretty much MIA. I think that it's safe to count the Mountain excursion as our last (good) memory. He definitely came over last night to fix my laptop (Macbook SO needed). I'm not going to recount the entire distressing 2 hours of conversation, or rather lack there of, but I'll leave you with what he left me with:

Kate: "So... Do you think that you could be in a good mood next time I see you since I leave forever in a few weeks?"

M.F.: "Do you want me to force it?"

Kate: "Yes. I do. I'd like a nice memory to leave with"

M.F.: "It's better if you just remember me as a jerk"

M.F. exits.

Am I the only one who feels compelled to find some music to roll in the background of his dramatic exit? What the hell.

Maybe he found my blog.

This happens a lot with us. Every time it looks like it might be over for some reason, he acts like this for a week or two. And normally, that's cool because I'm in to having my own space too... but uh.... it's game day. I'm gone after this. There is no calling up and apologizing over a candle lit dinner this time.

I wonder how long until he realizes that....

On the plus side, this has given me the perfect emotional excuse to go and purchase a pair of brown leather boots that I have had my eye on for WEEKS. I LOVE them.... I will name them 'booties' and they will be mine...

KK.

Update!!

2008-09-02T00:34:00.001-07:00

According to PerezHilton.com John McCain's pick for Vice Prez IS, in fact, the legitimate mother to her fifth child, and not the grandmother as rumors permitted.

Her daughter (17 years old), is currently pregnant though.... Palin and her co-parent hubby said this:
we are... "proud of Bristol's decision to have her baby and even prouder to become grandparents. Bristol and the young man she will marry are going to realize very quickly the difficulties of raising a child, which is why they will have the love and support of our entire family."

I marked the word "decision." Do you know why?

Because to come to a decision implies that you had a CHOICE. Interesting that your 17 year old daughter was given a choice that you would like to take away from so many other Americans...

KK.

Loves it When One Side of the Pancake is Buttered...

2008-09-01T00:31:00.000-07:00

You've all heard Dr. Phil say it, and it's true. No matter how thin you make the pancake, there's always two sides. And I love election time, because both sides perpetually try to burn the other side to make their side look more golden-y brown ..... mmmm.... pancakes. I miss Canada.

Onwards and Upwards...

I recently received a remarkable example of this as a forward from a friend, and I gotta tell you... my overactive brain had a field day with it.... Now, keep in mind, I'm a democrat. However, I am expressing my bias openly, and up front. I am also capable of saying that no person or platform is perfect, and that both sides have their pro's and con's. But this article was poorly researched, poorly written and wreaking of more than a conservative bias, it was just out-right written to compel masses of conservative (Already conservative) Americans into turning their conservative beliefs into a fundamentalist attitude. So, here's the article, I'm going to dissect it one paragraph at a time.

Obama's Sordid Abortion Record: Opposed Protecting Live Born's
Sen. Barack Obama's pick of Sen. Joseph Biden, a pro-choice Catholic, will most certainly raise the abortion issue to a new level in the campaign. Obama's own record on abortion is steeped in controversy. Barack Obama not only has a perfect record in opposing pro-life legislation, he even fought against a bill protecting the right to life of a baby born alive.

1. "Obama's Sordid Abortion Record" --- Don't you mean Abortion Voting Record? Because last time I checked, having an abortion record of any kind would be impossible for Sen Obama. Furthermore, if you mean what it is that you've written, then someone has been snooping in private medical files which is a big No-No.

2. "Obama's own record is steeped in controversy..... perfect record of opposing pro-life legislation" --- uhhhh sounds pretty uncontroversial to me. Seems like he knows EXACTLY where he stands on the matter. What about those people who can't decide if they support or oppose something? hmmmmm?

By: Jim Meyers

- Dear Jim Meyers.... I think you're an Asshat. Strawman fallacy? * (when you attack the arguer instead of the argument) .... You Damn Right it is.

Sen. Barack Obama's pick of Sen. Joseph Biden, a pro-choice Catholic, will most certainly raise the abortion issue to a new level in the campaign.

- There is NO issue to be raised, when you think about it. The United States Supreme Court has upheld the Roe v. Wade decision for a while now.... Not to get all technical, but since it is the Dem's ideal that is being supported by this ruling, it would actually be up to Republicans to "raise the issue"... which they have. A lot. And you know what has happened? Nothing, because the majority of Americans support it.... sorry, that's the way it works.

Obama's own record on abortion is steeped in controversy.

- Like I said, Show me the controversy....

Barack Obama not only has a perfect record in opposing pro-life legislation, he even fought against a bill protecting the right to life of a baby born alive.

- What he is referring to is the "Born Alive Act" which passes the Senate in 2002. I had to google this since the author gave us no other information but his own opinion and highly biased description of said act. This Act means that all life saving technology would be used on a fetus that was extricated from the uterus, with some life signs, POST Abortion. AKA the abortion was intended but didn't work, therefore, by default, the doctors had a responsibility to save the fetus's life.

So, what the author is suggesting is that ..... ummmm... I'm not really sure actually. It seems to be that HE is suggesting that the baby then grows up in the household of the person who tried to abort it.... OK, pro choice or Pro life, i think we can all agree that's not a good idea. So, maybe ... ummm.... foster care and adoption? Ok, that's reasonable. So... does the state pay for the medical care or the baby? Because I gotta tell you, failed abortions are probably going to include all kinds of health problems in the future... enough about that though...

What the author also doesn't mention, and this is a folly of Democratic authors also, is how the legislation process works. Bills, all bills go through a reading process. There is the first reading to introduce the bill and then there is the second reading where the bill is debated. You can debate the wording of the bill, and argue that there is an inherent difficulty in the implementation of the bill due to wording, and possible future ramifications WITHOUT opposing the fundamental ideal. I think that we can all reasonably agree that Sen. Obama is not for the deliberate killing of babies as this article would let you believe. Instead, he probably saw that there were MASSIVE problems with the implementation of such a bill under the CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES, also, sorry guys but your health care system, in the disarray that it is would never be able to support such a bill... there would be deficit in your future... oh wait....

Author David Freddoso chronicles Obama's radical pro-abortion record in his best-selling book "The Case Against Barack Obama: The Unlikely Rise and Unexamined Agenda of the Media's Favorite Candidate."

- There is NO SUCH THING AS PRO ABORTION. I hate when people use this term. I can't think of a single person that I know that feels that abortion is the only option to every pregnancy in the world. It's called pro-choice. As in, someone should be able to have the CHOICE. It's awesome if you don't choose abortion. I'm pro-choice and I really admire the friends that I have that undertook the journey of having a child when it was perhaps not so opportune a time. But I gotta tell you, those women are comforted during the hard times by knowing that they had a choice. They made their choice themselves and now they are going to do right by their choice.

[Editor's Note: Get "The Case Against Barack Obama" with our FREE offer – Click Here Now.]

- If this isn't conservative propaganda... I don't know what is. Can someone please send me a link to offer a free book about John McCain and his problems?? Just to even the playing field....seriously.

In March 2001, a bill was introduced in the Illinois Senate, where Obama was then serving, that stated in part: "A live child born as a result of an abortion shall be fully recognized as a human person and accorded immediate protection under the law."

The bill came following an investigation of a Chicago-area hospital that left babies born alive to die without medical care.

"This bill was not an abortion law," Freddoso writes. "It did not confer any right or legal status upon any baby not yet born. This bill had no legal conflicts with Roe v. Wade … Born and living survivors of abortion would be unambiguously considered 'persons.' Medically, scientifically, empirically, they were no different from the many premature babies who are born in American hospitals each year."

- If this isn't an abortion law, Mr. Author. Then can you please tell me what it is doing in your article about Obamas' VOTING RECORD ON ABORTION.... Ya, thanks.

-P.S. I read the Act and its proposed versions and it most certainly does use language that, once passed can be used to make the case about unborn fetus' being persons and thus disrupt Roe vs. Wade.... so in your opinion... IS IT or ISN'T IT... because I'm not quite sure what it is that you believe at this point.

Nevertheless, Sen. Obama spoke against the bill on the Senate floor.

-Like I said, Bills require a careful examination of Grey area, language and potential future implications. I'm sure that we can all see that this bill had some problematic areas in all three. I mean, I'm not for infanticide, I'm pretty much about letting babies live, however this bill and it's wording did not protect babies so much as it left a gapping Grey hole for them......

He was the only senator to do so.

- But he was NOT the only senator to vote against the bill....

Arguing against the bill, Obama declared: "This is probably not going to survive constitutional scrutiny. Number one, whenever we define a pre-viable fetus as a person that is protected by the equal protection clause or other elements in the Constitution, what we're really saying is, in fact, that they are persons that are entitled to the kinds of protections that would be provided to … a nine-month-old child that was delivered to term. That determination, then, essentially, if it was accepted by a court, would forbid abortions to take place … This would be an anti-abortion statute."

- Ummm..... So he just gave you his exact reason for NOT voting in favor of the bill...

According to Freddoso, Obama's stance disregarded language in the bill that clearly stated it applied only to babies that have already been born.

-Yes well, he obviously didn't have a problem with that language, just the language that he said he had a problem with. So, if it is not an Anti-abortion statute, like you claim, what's the problem with amending the language to reflect his, and many other senators concerns that it may be influential as such in the future. Sounds to me like they are just being thorough and protecting and upholding a supreme court decision that has been upheld by the majority of American people for a while now....

-I personally like my politicians to be thorough...

Obama voted "present" on the bill. It passed the Senate, but later died in a House committee.

-WHOA WHOA WHOA, so what you're saying is that he didn't even vote AGAINST THE BILL?? WHAAAT??

In 2002, the legislation was reintroduced in three separate bills. Obama voted against the two bills that received a vote and, once again, spoke in opposition on the Senate floor.

Obama also has opposed restrictions on partial-birth abortion, a late-term abortion that kills a partially delivered living fetus and is considered by some to be tantamount to infanticide.

- I have no comment on that, I don't know the wording of this legislation or what he was thinking, but if the bills pass or fail by majority than the American government is doing it's job....No?

Freddoso writes: "Obama has also voted 'present' (again, effectively a 'no' vote) on requiring parental notification (not parental consent) when minor children obtain abortions…

-I'm sorry but how is refusing to vote for something effectively a 'No' vote? Voting NO is effectively a no vote.

"I could find no instance in his entire career in which he voted for any regulation or restriction on the practice of abortion."

-OK, so what we know for sure is that Obama is Pro Choice.... Got it.

Freddoso also quotes conservative columnist Terence P. Jeffrey: "Barack Obama is the most pro-abortion presidential candidate ever."

-Pro CHOICE you asshat.

And if elected, he would likely become the most pro-abortion president ever. In July 2007, Obama spoke before the Planned Parenthood Action Fund and said: "The first thing I'd do as president is sign the Freedom of Choice Act."

-PRO CHOIIIICE. I want to believe that the American public will not be confused by this obvious change of rhetoric. I really really want to believe that.

Freddoso observes: "This bill would effectively cancel every state, federal, and local regulation of abortion, no matter how modest or reasonable. It would even, according to the National Organization of Women, abolish all state restrictions on government funding for abortions….

- So, what you're saying is that Obama is going to sign a bill that UPHOLDS a Supreme Court decision thirty years old. Roe Vs. Wade (and Doe Vs Bolton- the lesser known decision of the same time) was made in 1973. It's 35 YEARS OLD. And Guess what... Roe Vs Wade actually did that... it already canceled state restrictions on abortion. So he's signing a bill that just legislates a supreme court decision. Isn't this an example of the all powerful check and balances system that I was taught in school? Because if it's not, I need to go back to grade 4.

- I also want to take this moment to point out that the Supreme Court Judges decided that out-lawing abortion was in violation of constitutional privacy (found under the Due Process Clause of the 14th Amendment).
So, if I used the Authors logic where A=C and B=C therefore, A+B= C squared.... Then Obama is really just upholding the United States Constitution by opposing the Born Alive Act, and those that didn't aren't. Of course I'm NOT saying that because I know better than to over simplify an obviously complicated process. I'm just giving an example of how messed up the logic behind this article is.

"In promising to sign this bill, Obama is promising to abolish state laws that protect doctors and nurses from losing their jobs if they refuse to participate in abortions. He is promising to abolish requirements for parental notification and informed consent for mothers who consider the procedure…

So, he's supporting Roe. Vs. Wade as well as following through on his own voting record. Interesting.... I think I see the problem. His consistency is confusing the American Public. They aren't used to consistent politicians.

"Politicians' promises are often empty, but this one deserves to be taken seriously."

In conclusion, I'd like to point out that this article lacked the following:
1. The actual NAME of the bill for which they were condemning Obama for abstaining from voting
2. The background and year of Roe vs. Wade
3. McCain's voting record and stance on abortion
4. any cohesive or sound logic at all.

I'd also like the say that I think that Obama got it right in his acceptance of the Dem nomination speech, which I'm guessing the authors of this little diddy didn't watch, when he said: "We may not agree on the abortion issue, but I think that we can agree on reducing the number of unwanted pregnancies in this country..." Education is the key my friends, education is the key.

P.S. Dear Authors... I'd really like to hear what it is you have to say about the Vice President hopeful Palin and the rumors of her secretly raising her 16 year old daughters son as her own. Interesting solution to avoiding abortion while simultaneously ensuring that her political career isn't disrupted.

Can anyone else think of someone who was raised by his grandmother thinking it was his mother?

I can! Ted Bundy. And I gotta tell you, it didn't work out too well for him...

PPS. You're welcome to send me other articles, even Democratic ones. I'm pretty much this cynical and argumentative with everything.

KK.

2008-08-31T11:17:00.001-07:00

Update:

1. The below Asshat has changed his facebook profile picture. I'm really proud of myself right now. Changing the world, one facebook profile at a time

2. I'm running low on nasal spray

KK.

......Sometimes I Just have to Shake My Head....

2008-08-31T04:42:00.001-07:00

So there's this guy on Facebook who felt the need to add me because we share the same last name. In his facebook picture, he is wearing military fatigues, a belle-clave and holding a VERY large automatic weapon.

........Sorry Mother but I couldn't keep my mouth shut.....

My response:

Hello there,

Look, I'm not going to lie to you... Your picture makes me sick. You're perpetuating a violent stereotype about the Irish and the IRA militia that actually makes life harder for us Irish all over the world.

I'm proud of where I came from, and I am a proud catholic. But you are not representative of my Ireland, nor of my catholicism.

Sinn Feinn (the political faction) have been making headway in a diplomatic reach towards peace, and your blatant affinity for fatigue and weaponry on a social networking site that has millions of young and impressionable people is one of the obstacles that makes it difficult for them to do their job.

Most people would have a problem saying what I'm saying to you, since you obviously feel quite at home cuddling up to a rather large gun. However, I wouldn't be Irish if I didn't speak up... and I most certainly wouldn't be a good catholic.

I hope that the cold metal of your gun shaft keeps you warm at night.

KK.

Man Friend pt 2: The Perfect Way to Say Good-Bye

2008-08-30T11:58:00.000-07:00

As explained in 'Man Friend pt. 1: Things Your Man Friend Should Never Say,' (which you probably haven't read because of the close proximity of the postings....I recommend skipping down and reading first), Man Friend and I have a limited time together. Even more limited because I've made plans with other people for the next few weekends, so this was (is) our last weekend of totally hanging out.

I'm currently fighting Malaria (OK, not Malaria, but it's some sort of brutal respiratory tract infection that is KILLING ME....or just making me cough really really badly), and my boss, who is a doctor mentions that some time in the Alps might do me some good. Yes, that's right folks, my prescription was Mountain Air. What am I? Freaking Heidi? Anyways, so I invite Man Friend along. Basically, I invite him to plan the whole trip since he knows his way around WAY better. He does, and we plan to go on Saturday at like 6 am. But I'm sick, so he lets me sleep in, and we meet up for the 8 am train (To my North American peeps.... Swiss timing is INSANE. 6 am seems like a totally natural hour to these people. Man Friend is not Swiss but he has been socialized accordingly). Letting me sleep in pretty much makes you my hero any day of the week.

So, we get there a few hours later, grab the bus up the mountain, then grab a gondola a little bit farther and then we start to hike. So, fresh mountain air may very well be good for the respiratory tract, but do you know what is NOT? HIKING UP 2000 METERS TO THE FRESH MOUNTAIN AIR. I almost died, and I am NOT that out of shape (please see previous post and apply this to there as well).

So after going into a major hyperventilation state, Man Friend suggests that we take it easy and just hang out around there for a while. I concur. We find a lovely little stream of glacial water running down in the middle of the greenest field that I have ever seen, with jagged snow topped peaks surrounding us on all sides. It was mystifying, and breathtaking (if I had any), and awe inspiring. The scene is what the person who coined the term: 'awesome'* must have felt.

We spread out under the sun and the blue cloudless sky and just relaxed, and napped. Yes people, today I napped in the swiss Alps... How was your Saturday?

I woke up to Man Friend in the stream, playing with rocks. I didn't pay much attention, because really...... I don't care.

Then he says "catch" and he throws me a totally flat rock that he has shaped into a heart.

It was the perfect gesture for our situation and our time together. No long drawn out admissions or stereos under a window, just a simple: here's a rock.... I cared enough to do this for you.

It's exactly what I needed.

During my time with Man Friend, I have often felt like we were together in another life, and today, I felt like I was getting a chance to say Good-bye to him the way that I had been deprived of in the past. Such a weird and New Age feeling which is so NOT me, but I had the feeling none the less, and if it's true, I'm grateful for the perfect good-bye that I never had. And if it's not: I'm grateful for the perfect Good-bye that I had just had at that moment.

A few hours later we went down the mountain to grab a beer.... at which point, the story is completed in the preceding post, and he ruined my perfect good-bye. Hence my desire to keep the two memories separate.

I'm still annoyed that he ruined it.

KK.

P.S. Mountain Air does help.... it's the getting up and down that SUCKS.

*awesome in the biblical sense, not the 'hey dude' sense.

Man Friend pt 1: Things Your Man Friend should Never Do

2008-08-30T11:46:00.001-07:00

I'm going to write this post in two parts, simply because I want to remember the two events totally separately. I've had this Man Friend for a great many months (great many months to me, may not be the same as great many months to you). We live in the same European city, and he is about 13 years older than I am.
For those of you that don't know, a Man Friend is different than a Boy Friend. We spend boat loads of time together and really enjoy each others company, but for whatever reason, a parting is inevitable and therefore exclusivity is ruled out of the equation. I feel that I'm making my Man Friend seem a tad more mature than he really is, and he'd admit that openly.
He's definitely an 18 year old at heart, and sometimes dress.

As a disclaimer, I care for him very deeply, in a way that one can only care for a Man Friend. The typical sentiments and grading of feelings do not apply because there is no progression in the relationship. It's just assumed that the old adage: "a different time, a different place" applies to your situation.

No, he's not married. But, I am leaving Europe in about 30 days, and this city in 15, so our time is, and has always been limited.

Now, I'm going to start with the annoying part of my day with Man Friend, because I'd like to only remember the good part, therefore I'll write that last (we ALL know that this wont work).

So, here goes:

Things your Man Friend should NEVER say...EVER:

1. "Wow THAT girl is too skinny, I don't like chicks that are too skinny..." (he says while looking at you slightly adoringly........ the skinny chick you ask? She's also PREGNANT)

2. "I have this friend that is dating an overly attractive girl.... and he's always wondering when she's going to trade up. That's why I don't date overly attractive girls" (7 months dude. 7 months. Honestly, I suppose dating isn't the right term for our involvement, but oh wait... YA it probably is unless you want to get all technical. It's just never going beyond dating...asshat!)

3. "Here, you get in the picture with those two cows, and now it will be three cows" (This was a funny joke when the above two hadn't been said yet)

4. "I can't understand why you're annoyed"

5. ..........I'm sure there was more, I just stopped listening after this.........

The end.

KK.

The Good and The Bad

2008-08-29T08:12:00.000-07:00

Good news: I've lost 5 pounds from being sick this week, and I'm starting to feel better (just in time for my hike in the mountains with my Man friend.)

Bad news: I may have a slight addiction to nasal spray.

Obama Has Done It!

2008-08-29T00:04:00.001-07:00

He did it. He finally did it. He won me over. At least his speech writer did, but his deliverance was charismatic and eloquent in a way that not many people can deliver.

I've often talked about his lack of experience, but his ideas are fresh, and we can't discount the combined years of experience of his advisers. I like him. I have to say it: I like him a lot. And, I would be proud to have him as the next president of the United States. Of course, I'm Canadian so it's not really something that I can be proud of per say...but still.*

I can't even do his speech justice, which fell on the 45th anniversary of Martin Luther King's speech... the one involving a dream, heard of it? If you haven't seen his speech, I strongly recommend Youtubing it. He had the class and character about himself, his party and even his opponent that inspires me.

That being said, I received a little comment the other day regarding my last uber American political post that I would like to address. Before all is said, I have to say that the writer is a personal friend of mine. I have nothing but the utmost respect for him, and I find his perspective as a black man refreshing in my white washed life, in which we are both immigrants to a new nation. However, if you don't know him, and you read his comment, it might seem like he's an asshat. So let's address that.

This is the comment:

Well... first I have to say, that I agree... there are way too many people being phony/fake in this real-ass world... and to be honest, I have no time for them, except for “hello!!!” and more importantly “BYE!!!!!!”
Yet... as a black man and closet feminist (though I'm working my way out) I have to comment on Barack & Hillary (for that matter)... The 'White Man’s House' as I like to call it has very little to do with actual politics (politics meaning what it should and not what it is) but more to do with big brother and a high price fashion show and/or popularity contest.... It's has been that way since the fuckers wrote the constitution... And those with "real politics" who have an actual opinion and express it, they get shot and "6 feet under" real quick like... (ie. Kennedy and M. King....)

what’s my point??? Am I another fanatic just talking shit????... (maybe...) but there is something to people voting strictly because it's a woman or a black man... I wanted to see either of them in the WHITE MAN’s HOUSE because it's never been that way before... and it’s because of the bullshit people/aliens (heh) behind the scenes, also the same shit we all seem to except, because it’s in the paper or on the news.
So... since its always been a white man in THE WHITE MANs HOUSE regardless of politics... why not blindly vote for a white woman or black man, we have been doing the same for white men all of our lives... So if that “black man” is talking about going to war (which always happens) or that “white woman” is talking cheaper taxes (which never happens) WTF!!!! They have all just been puppets, that don’t mean anything they say anyways…..
So…. To conclude…. What is my end point??? Maybe if your Irish ass ever dates a black man or white woman (lovezzzz it), maybe give them a chance….. They might just have something behind that useless thought….

1. There is nothing closet feminist about you, Random (if, in fact that is your real name...) You're full out feminist. Learn it, Love it, Deal with it.

2. Uhhh The White House has nothing to do with politics? Hmm.... Let's take a quick second and google the term, shall we?

pol·i·tics

1.	the science or art of political government.

2.	the practice or profession of conducting political affairs.

3.	political affairs: The advocated reforms have become embroiled in politics.

4.	political methods or maneuvers: We could not approve of his politics in winning passage of the bill.

5.	political principles or opinions: We avoided discussion of religion and politics. His politics are his own affair.

6.	use of intrigue or strategy in obtaining any position of power or control, as in business, university, etc.

7.	(initial capital letter, italics) a treatise (4th century b.c.) by Aristotle, dealing with the structure, organization, and administration of the state, esp. the city-state as known in ancient Greece.

Perhaps not number 7 or 5, but the White House most certainly stands for numbers 1-4, and 6. Hmmm... seems cohesive to me. Perhaps you mean transparency in politics. And if so, then I agree with you. This is what I often say intrigues me about African politics, the blatant transparency. Every country has the politics you see and the politics that you don't. In Africa, I find that they don't really care if what you see is decrepit and corrupt... and they don't do too much to hide it. Whereas, in the states and Canada, we're big fans of acting diplomatic and then sending unmarked snipers into a country. Or, trading their votes on one important issue for assurance that their own legislation will see the light of day. Sneaky Sneaky, but that's why politics are interesting; they aren't always pretty.

3. Ummmm Kennedy was NOT about real politics, at least not the way you describe it. He was from the most high priced political families, and he used his office to have an affair with Marylin Monroe. We idolize him because he was shot. Not saying he wasn't a very nice chap, but seriously... can someone tell me what it was that he did? (His wife also influenced fashion for decades...see every fashion line of Chanel....you brought up fashion, not me... )And M. King was a civil rights leader... not a politician, although he did influence political decisions for decades...

4. Are you suggesting that voting for someone based on gender or color is the best way to go, because really in the end it doesn't mean anything anyways because you're a giant conspiracy theorist and you think that they aren't the ones in charge in the first place? Interesting, Random, interesting. I'm still a big fan of voting on the issues, although I have been known to throw down the strategic vote if I'm not a fan of any of the proposed responses to the issues. However, I think that comedic GENIUS Tina Fey summed it up best on this point when she said: "Isn't it great that we have come so far since the feminist movement, and gaining the right to vote that we don't feel that we have to vote for someone simply because she's a woman? Instead, we vote for who Oprah tells us to (Obama)."

5. Ummm I never said that I thought anyone had a useless thought. I was ALL about Hillary and now, in the wake of hers' and Bills' urging, and Obama's amazing speech, I am ALL about Obama. CHANGE!!! And I have dated a black man, and a brown man... take THAT, I'm like the freaking United Nations of Ex-boyfriends.

In conclusion, you are not an asshat, Random. Instead, you are a bitter and jaded individual, but that aside, and more importantly, you are right. A lot of people feel the same way as you do. So let's shake things up America.... VOTE OBAMA!

(If he gets in, I think he should have a congratulatory BBQ at the White House...)

*CNN's 'the campaign trail' has the BEST commercial about how their special correspondent knows American politics like only a Canadian can. I love it.

A Cynics Guide to Fairy Tales.

2008-08-28T11:18:00.000-07:00

Late late last night, while I was coughing up a lung, I had the great pleasure of talking to a friend of mine, an ocean away for about 3 hours straight. He entertained me and we did a crossword together while I coughed in his ear.** I was/am seriously drugged up (read: two cough suppressants, nasal spray and some kind of potent version f neo citron). So, there we are doing a cross word puzzle, and one of the answers is: Hansel and Gretel. I immediately went off on a tangent about what could be expected if Hansel and his sister were in the modern day... and this is what resulted:

Once upon a time, there were a brother and sister named Hansel and Gretel. They hailed from a typical suburban home, where they lived with their father, their step mother and their dog: skip. Their mother had died very early in life, and their father had remarried when they were 12, and adolescent hormones were in abundance.
Truth be told, their Stepmother was a fair and decent person, however, they wreaked havoc on her because she was their Fathers' backbone. If you had asked her, or anyone else for that matter, she had come in just when she needed to. The kids were god awful spoiled, as their father was so distraught by the death of his wife, that he gave them virtually everything and anything that they asked for. I mean really, what does a 12 year old need with a Ducati anyways? Their new Stepmother intervened and made it her sole mission to ensure that they became well balanced and proactive members of society, instead of little spoiled leaches that were about to put their middle classed father into either a substance abuse program or a welfare program (and as we all know in not so PC ways, the two are not always mutually exclusive).
Of course, Hansel and Gretel rebelled. At 14 and 15 they complained daily to their friends at school about the new instituted measures, such as locks on the alcohol cupboards and the rules about no high powered machinery until fully licensed to use said machinery. Their friends consoled them, sometimes even sneaking a Mickey of vodka to their high-priced high school. By 16 and 17, they had learned the art of sneaking out of their suburban neighbourhood under the pretence of studying for a final, even in September.
Next thing their proud father and slightly exhausted and now nervous Stepmother knew, they were off to college. Their Stepmother was relieved when they chose to go to a school across state lines (oh they are SO American). Sure, she had "encouraged" them to seek adventure, and sure, she had mentioned that "adventures" were only really "adventures" if they were more that 50 miles away, but in the end; they had made the choice themselves. Both father and Stepmother stood waving goodbye at the end of the drive way, Father recounting their younger years and the fine specimens that they had grown into. Step Mother relieved and excited about having her husband all to herself for the first time... EVER (Yes, a tad selfish she would admit to herself, but most women got to spend a few years with the man they loved so desperately before they embarked on a family, and she was happy to go backwards for him, but she was happy that her time was now).
Once at the dormitories, Hansel and Gretel got acquainted with everyone over a 26er of rum, which they had swiped from the liquor cabinet (at 16 Hansel had a copy of the key cut). Soon enough it was all bright lights and keg parties. Hansel became the ladies man of his dormitory and every other dormitory. Soon enough, he realized that dating college girls is expensive, what with all the 2-dollar shots nights a week, and a whole 7 days in a week. So, he took up a side job selling pot.
Gretel was recruited to the Nu Psi Gammas and began to test out her new found freedom and womanly nature with the frat boys.
One day the two were invited to a Keg party. They drove the old Mercedes to the party. They had wanted a new matching set of Beamers for their graduation but their step mother insisted, in her horrible mean way that they should not be given such an "extravagant" gift for merely passing high school, and they were promised it for college graduation instead. They both took the stance that to deprive them of vehicular luxury and style for four years was one of her worst abominations as a Stepmother. Gretel joked to Hansel: "Well, at least we'll be able to find our way back, what with the OIL leaking out the back of the car." Hansel laughed and responded by calling their stepmother a bitch. They both laughed together. It was true, the car DID leak oil, but only because they had used the money their stepmother had given them for Hansel's start up pot business. However, it came so natural for them to blame this on her 'No New Beamer Snafu' of 4 months earlier.
Once at the party, they skipped the entrance fee due to the infatuation of Gretel by the Frat boy/Door man. At the tender age of 17, free entrance, and ensuing free kegged beer, of this was the equivalent of coming upon a candied house with the hungry eyes of a 6 year old.
The party went well, at least until Gretel hit her head on the chandelier while dancing on the table and Hansel threw up on the feet of the president of the fraternity. He was quickly surrounded by 3 large men. However, instead of apologizing, he saw this as an opportune moment to mouth off. The immediately threw him on the front lawn, and locked the door. In a huff, he txt messaged his sister to say he was leaving her there with her 'new friends.' And that he did.
Later that night, when his father called to check in, he told him that he had left Gretel at a party. Once off the phone, the Stepmother insisted that their father drive up and make sure everything was all right. She wasn't their mother, but she still had a gut instinct. After about 10 minutes of his excusing the party as "good clean fun," he finally agreed to go if it would make her happy.
Once at the party, their Father walked in, only to find his daughter. Gretel was unconscious and wreaking of booze in a bedroom with a snivelling little 20 year old boy, lurking over her, about to do god knows what.*** He slung her over his shoulder and took her to the hospital where she had to have her stomach pumped. When she woke up, her eyes swelled and she whispered "Daddy..." and his heart melted.
Years later, and after several similar incidents throughout Gretel’s college career (and I say Gretel, because Hansel was kicked out after the first year for selling pot and failing all of his classes), and Hansel’s countless retail and bar jobs; rehab; falling off the wagon; and rehab again, Gretel wrote a book. She wrote a tell all, best selling book about her life, her riches to rags life, in which she vilified her step mother to the point of social humiliation so great, that Oprah called for her side of the story. Of course, no one would ever believe her side of the story, except her husband who lived in his happy little naive bubble and felt that it was a harmless claim that had at least given Gretel some sort of career. He died of cancer later that year. Hansel and Gretel tried to ban their stepmother of 20 years form the funeral, but to no avail. However, they did sit across the aisle and stare at her the whole time that they were supposed to be, and she was sincerely grieving, whispering "gold digger" under their breath.
Her reputation was in shambles. The love of her life was dead and gone, and the kids that she had helped raise hated her. Finally, she got wise, and when the will left her with a great chunk of money, she decided to give Gretel the sequel to her book, on a silver platter. She took her money, changed her name and moved to the Cayman islands to live her life out in peace and quiet.
Sure enough, Gretel's second book made the best sellers list within weeks.

** This is no normal sickness. It's the stuffy nose, hacking cough, tissue up your nose for hours, neo citron is my new water type of sickness.
*** Totally untrue, we all know what he was about to do.

KK.

Why I'm a dork

2008-08-26T02:27:00.001-07:00

I just can't stop.

I've been sick for almost a week now, and it's just getting worse. My fever is rising, my coughing keeps the upstairs neighbors from getting sleep, and my doctor suspects that I have pneumonia. And what am I doing, you ask?

I'm reading Malaysian newspapers.

Did you know that the official opposition leader, who is getting pretty popular with people is being accused of sodomizing his aide, by his aide?

And the fun doesn't just stop there... it's like a friggin soap opera. Here's the run down:

Characters:

Anwar Ibrahim: The opposition --- played by Morgan Freeman
Saiful Bahari: The 23 year old Aide accusing him of these acts--- played by that white snivelling skinny kid thats always the weird criminal in those crime shows
Abdulah Badawi: The current prime minister--- played by Jim Carrey ( I have no reason for this, neither logical or comical)

Setting:

Malaysia.
Muslim Country
60% Malay majority who are pretty much favored in every respect. Jobs, university admission....so on....

Plot:

So awhile back, Anwar (Freeman) was all into politics and what not when someone randomly accused him of sodomy...for which he got 15 years in prison since it's illegal in Malaysia. He still maintains his innocence... as does his wife. This guy had major supporters and tens of thousands of people took to the streets in a major upset.

Now, on the eve of a new election, where it actually looks like Anwar is going to take a vast majority away from the current PM, Badawi (carrey), all of a sudden his former Aide (skinny white kid), who happens to be MALAY (the ethnic group that has the most to lose if he is elected) is accusing him of forcing it up his ....ummm......... well yes.

Also interestingly, the first doctor to examine him says that there was nothing, nor has there ever been anything up that aides bum. Interesting indeed. No one can find this doctor anymore and a second opinion has been sought.
Furthermore, the PM is getting pretty vocal about seeking justice for the aide.......

really? Seriously? Last time I checked, it takes two to participate in bum sex, and yes of course there is rape....... but I dunno, maybe it's my background in forensic psychology, but it just seems unlikely that a senior politician would force himself on his young aide, whom he has to work with every day in the media spotlight. If he WAS going to participate in a sodomatic act with someone, it would be with someone that he trusted, had convinced to trust him (if he were indeed a predator and not just an in the closet gay male)....

I just find the image of Anwar forcefully bending his aide over a boardroom table, sodomizing him (Which is NOT a pleasant experience when someone is unwilling... therefore is NOT a quiet experience), while all the other aides and secretaries went about their daily routine out in the office.
No one called Lewinsky a victim of sexual harassment.

I smell a rat........

Well back to the land of the undead for me... aka, my bed.

KK.

FYI
The term sodomy refers to the homosexual activities of men in the story of the city of Sodom in the Bible. The destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah because of their residents' immorality became a central part of Western attitudes toward forms of non-procreative sexual activity and same-sex relations. ***************

******* Actually... Sodom and Gomorrah was a Hebrew folktale about hospitality. People just interpret it in a modern context, which is where this idea comes from.

How to force people to give you money...for a good cause

2008-08-25T05:45:00.001-07:00

Have you ever really wanted to do one of those walks or runs? You know the kind, they hold them for every good cause known to man. The walk for the cure, breast cancer, MS, battered women, and so on.
I find myself often in a predicament, being that I WANT to participate, and I always have good intentions to, but I hate having to ask people for money. That's a total lie. I love it, but let's call a spade a spade, it can get very annoying to have to ask all of your friends to donate money to your cause all the time. Especially if you have over 2 causes.

So, here's my guide to hounding your friends and family for money:

1. Divide your friends and family per cause. Don't ask all of them for every cause. Personally, I devide them up a few times: Big spenders and employed small spenders and unemployed/broke. After that, I ignore all unemployed/broke because it's not fair to ask them, and then I divide the big spenders and the employed small spenders into the causes for which I will pester and hound them.
** If you are employed, you will be exploited for money --- this is my mantra

2. First, I send out personal messages to everyone. Normally the website for your cause allows you to do this through their site. The personal messages should be funny. No one wants to feel like you're using some sob story to extort money, save this for later. Thanks to fox news, we're all totally desensitized to everything. The messages should be short and sweet. Most people probably wont even read them, but they should all include something more personal than just using their name.
I.E. "Dear Nicholas, I'm doing the run and walk for the cure this fall. Your donation and the amount thereof will work towards my considering your many marriage proposals..."

3. Follow up phone calls. Start with the big spenders. Why? Because you have your best stuff at the beginning and this is a good time. ASK HOW THEY ARE DOING FIRST.... but don't jump into a conversation and then talk about your need for dough as an after thought .... get to the point within 4 sentences, because by then, people are already thinking of how to get you off the phone. I also mention at this point that my mother is a survivor, which is why I'm doing the walk. It's cheap and dirty and it works. Get them to subscribe to an amount, and then tell them that you are sending and email with the link in which they can click and donate... tax receipts can be sent directly to them this way, and you dont have to handle cash. Always finish the conversation by saying, "Thanks so much, I wont keep you but I'll definitely call you to catch up soon." This makes people feel like you aren't using them for money. Even though you are.

4. A few days later, if you notice that they have yet to do good on their verbal (and in some places, BINDING) contract to sponsor you.... Harass them. This is where it differs, and the subgroups of potential sponsors differ.

4.a. The big spenders-- wait a few weeks/days and call them again. "Hey, I noticed that you hadn't had a chance to visit my donor page. You had said that you wanted to sponsor this cause, so I thought I'd remind you. If you want, I can help fill it all out." This may not work.....because big spenders are big spenders for a reason, they have money and they know how to say no to spending it. However, if they didn't blow you off the first time by saying "Oh gosh darnit, i already donated to that cause this year" then you can play the innocent card and ask again.

4.b. The employed small spenders. Harass them. Hard. I advice during the above phonecall... you pre warn them that you're monitoring your page and that you will be harassing them in the near future. Most people find this funny and comical, until you start to do it. An email here and there.... you know. Don't be mean.... be funny... people like funny.
e.x. Hey ...sooo.... Your name has yet to grace my donation page.... it's sad and waiting for you. Put it out of it's misery and give it some money. Pleaaaaaaaase.
or
ex. Research isn't done on good will.... Show me the money!

Always remember your please and thank you's folks.

5. Send out a mass email a week before your closing date as a reminder to those that didn't get around to you and the massive impact that you are about to make on the world by walking a km for breast cancer research.
If they haven't donated by this point, perhaps they forgot, but more likely they hate you for asking them.

Which MEANS.... you can put them in your next cause's list and harass them again next time around.... one day they will feel guilty and throw you 20 bucks... and if 5 people do that, then you have 100. Sure, you may lose some friends over it... but they are cheap jerks who would probably invite you to their baby showers for the presents and never give you a dime towards the future insurance that you will not need to lose two breasts to a scalpel one day....

** don't forget to write thank you cards!!!

And that is how I exploit people out of money.

KK.

Still the reigning monarch of passive aggressiva

2008-08-23T16:16:00.000-07:00

Background: My best friend Danner* and I have known each other since our first day or our first year of college... many many years, 4 degrees between us, and several life events ago. I met him when I needed help carrying my computer.... and decided that he would be an advantageous friend later that hour when I needed help setting up my computer. Our entire residence thought we were sleeping together, because Danner moved his entire mattress into my room and slept on the floor for two weeks after someone tried to assault me in my room after I had left my door unlocked (stupidly). The sleepovers totally continued but in a platonic and perfect friendship way.

Ladies, you can agree with me when I say, the perfect friendship is this: You + obnoxious+ incessant teasing+ total adoration = Him + tolerance+ over protectiveness

No?

So anyways, we're in our first fight of our friendship, and it's slowly killing me inside. For the last almost decade, we have not missed more that 6 days in a row of speaking on the phone, no matter if we are in different cities, countries or continents.... and he has not answered my calls for the past 14 days.

Basically, he got a girlfriend. And I'm not saying that is the reason that he neglects my phone calls. In fact, the reason is that I called her stupid.** I haven't met her. My bad.

At day 4, I reasoned that perhaps the time difference made it difficult to make contact. By day 6 I thought that maybe he had taken an impromptu trip somewhere. By day 9, when I tagged him on a silly photo in facebook, only to have the tag mysteriously disappear several hours later... I got suspicious.

I didn't realize that he was still upset about my little verbal snafu. I mean, I immediately explained to him that in the entire time I've known him, he has never had a girlfriend and I was always number one and that this new role as number two was something that I had to adjust to. But, that's a HUGE step for me, because 3 years ago, I wouldn't have even accepted being number 2 at all. Number 1 or bust baby. But, in my senior state, I realize that sometimes, just sometimes, you have to give way to someone else.... which sucks, but I'm doing it dammit.

So, today, on day 14, I decided that his angry time was up. I've decided to instate daily calls. And not just any daily calls... but daily calls that include the mundane details of my day on his voicemail, as if we were still friends that talked nightly about the mundane details of our day.

Today's went as such:

"Well... you're getting daily phone calls now... just like you still don't hate me and we're friends. Today I watched Schindler's list for the first time, and now I want to die a little on the inside. I want to cry for humanity at every moment. What about you? It's almost time for your girlfriend to be back in the city, I'm sure you're excited for that because that's exciting***...and your mom is coming back from vacation soon. Good times. Well, talk to you tomorrow..."

What I left out was the part about how my laptop has broken almost in half, literally...and it's my life and I'm terrified that the little cord that connects the hard drive to the screen will be severed, thereby losing me everything i hold dear.

But it's OK, because I just put it in my blog, and I will be immediately sending the link to Danner, who will then read about how distraught I am about his hatred for me..... :( ****

* Danner... obviously not his real name
** OK, I didn't actually call her stupid... what I said was: "Oh you shouldn't have told me how young she was because now I'm going to have a preconceived notion of her being stupid" NOT the same thing.
*** I should get points for the sucking up I did....really
**** I put a frigging sad emoticon thingy in my blog Danner... in my blog. That's humiliating.... Seriously. But I did it like a 15 year old emo boy just for you because our silence is flooding me with emotions, and this is my last ditch effort before I go buy angsty pants and dye my hair black and cut it so that it sits in my face all day, every day.

KK

P.S. If I had a readership or audience of any kind, I would ask them to vote on if he should forgive me or if I should start being more aggressive in my passive aggressive phone calls...

There is a Land Called Passive Aggressiva, and I am the Queen

2008-08-23T02:42:00.000-07:00

OK...

So I was reading randomness on he web this morning, instead of reading the news. This rarely happens, but for some reason the inducement of Biden as Obama's running mate does not interest me in the least. I feel like he looked at mug shots and chose the person who looked the most like McCain. Way to shake things up a bit there brotha...

Anyways, the randomness I found to be the most useful to my life read: I sat and read the archives for over an hour was found at: http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/

One note that interested me highly was an anonymous note to a co-worker which stated that he nails were too long and that her typing was thus too loud and it included some suggestions to rectify this for her fellow coworkers.

Now, I appreciate a good piece of passive aggressive literature as much as the next blogger, but seriously... seriously?

Then I spent possibly a bit too much time thinking of what my personal reply might have been. This was, in fact, a useful waste of time as I happen to have long nails, and I like them and one day this might annoy a co worker... you know, if I ever have any.

So this is what I would do. I would P.I. my butt all over the office and find out who it was, claiming that I wanted to apologize. Eventually, you would find out, because office workers are worse than sorority girls when it comes to gossip, and I would respond in like, with a note. Although I'd skip the anonymity for all of our sakes. It would read as such:

"Dear Terry-Lynn**,

I received your message re: my nail lengths. And I'm so glad you wrote, honestly, I really am, because I have been wanting to tell you that your hair is dead. You should cut it, and stop dying it that bleach yellow, it's killing your hair, and the last 4 inches of it are showing serious distress. This has been annoying me for quite some time, but until I received your note, I was unaware that items of personal hygiene were within the public realm of office discussion. Thanks again!

KateKavanaugh

P.S. Here's my hair dressers phone number (XXX) XXX-XXXX
P.P.S.: Pants with flames up the hem on Casual Friday...really?***

**I feel that the name Terry-Lynn would be appropriate for such a coworker
*** Once I actually went to a job interview, and the receptionist was wearing jeans with flames up the side on casual Fridays. It was for a mega international company, and my interviewer actually felt compelled to tell me that this was not normal... and to not be confused by her casual dress... I suppose my $500 black suit didn't do my work appropriate fashion sense justice?

Anyways, I have to run... I'm off to visit a religious pilgrimages site. I have varied interests, what can I say?

KK.

Conversational Politics

2008-08-20T23:10:00.000-07:00

You know what has always kind of chapped my ass? When people say that religion and politics are subjects to be avoided in social conversations (i.e. Date's or dinner parties). I don't understand this... and perhaps it's because I'm the only girl I know that loves her shoes and politics equally... and I do loves me my shoes, but really, why not? These are some intensely interesting subjects. No?
On a date, for instance. I'm not really all that concerned with what your favourite color is.... or what your 5 year plan is...well at least not on the first 4 dates, which about as far as I ever let anything get with a date anyways. Why shouldn't I ask the hard hitting questions, and really get to know someone, instead of trying to figure out if having the favourite color of blue makes someone calm and serene or emotional or flakey. "So, who are you rooting for in the next American election?" .......umm hello! The answer, and the explanation of said answer is highly important. I don't really care if it's the same as my answer or for the same reasons.
I care that it's not a stupid answer.
Look at how much you can learn from someone just by their answers. Let's say they say: "I'm voting for Barack because I think it's time to see a minority in the white house."
Then you know that they're stupid and you can walk away without feeling any guilt.
I suppose I should clarify this point. I do agree that it's time to see a minority in the white house, however I don't believe that should be the sole merit on which someone is voted in. I believe that it's time to have all citizens have equal opportunity to education and the political system requirements, and that they be judged on their merit, rather than thier skin color or gender. Unfortunately, saying that they should be in the white house because someone is a minority, is just as bad for equality, even equity in the long sighted version, as it is to say that they shouldn't be able to run. (Don't even get me started on what Obama HASN'T done for the equalization of socioeconomic disadvantage in minority populations).

Therefore, they're stupid, and you can walk away.

If they say... I'm voting for john McCain because he was a POW for 7 years and I think that we are in the middle of a war and I think military experience is important in the head of the largest military in the world...

Then.... THEN you might actually have an interesting conversation over your bigmac and slurpy (I'm so joking... my dates do not take me to McDonalds. Spaghetti factory or bust).

And I'm not saying this because I'm a republican. Because I'm not. I'm a HUGE Democrat. Well, I would be if i lived and voted in the United States, but since I'm Canadian, I'm a liberal...a card carrying liberal (sorry Dad). However, American politics effect us as much as Americans, and I'm pretty sure, sad but true, that more Canadians know the names of Obama and McCain than they do the leader of our official opposition.... it's Dion (as in Celiene... but it's not her.. he just has her name), in case you were wondering.

So there you have it, a great debate, and a chance to see how smart and socially aware your date is, while showing him your side of the coin. I love it.

And if you're really into pushing the envelope on a first date, as I am, try to combine religion AND politics. It's really not that hard.
If you're American: "So, how do you feel about the fact that we condemn other nations for their use of religion in government, when our current president is evoking Christianity as a reason for terminating stem cell research?"

If you're Canadian, because we're not perfect as much as I'd really like to believe it: "So, how do you feel about our current Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, saying that Gay Marriage would mock the institution of marriage so much that eventually we would legalize Polygamy which would lead to bestiality, and someone attempting to marry their cow or dog?"

ya... it happened. I'm not big on the whole Polygamy thing, and we will talk about that in another post, but I don't see how marrying multiple humans would induce someone to marry their dog..."

I am big on the whole gay marriage thing... equal rights!

I should stop now.

KK.

The boy my mom likes

2008-08-19T05:21:00.000-07:00

Being a single girl, have you ever had your mother call you up in a frenzy and say "I just met the perfect guy for you!!"

Yes.. of course you have, because that's normal.

Not my mom... Noooo. My mom sends me an email that says:

"Kate... I just met my future son in law........picture is enclosed."

At this point, I'm thinking: Oh jesus mom, not another one. Her last attempted set up was highly ridiculous, but another story altogether. So, with no dread at all, I open the picture. The problem has never been their looks... she's got herself some good taste in that area. The problem is.............they're all slightly brain dead.

I open his picture.

He's beautiful. He's the kind of guy that you think about paying to be your date to a high school reunion.

Naturally, I look him up on facebook. Facebook picture...equally gorgeous. So, naturally I give the go ahead. I mean, when you see a man of this beauty, it's hard to think about the ramifications... like the fact that he's already met your mother. And the awkwardness of being on a date with someone that your mother chose. To add to it, his mother and my mother are friends. awkward.......

Anyway, I forego all of that, and subject her to daily questions about if she's talked to his mom yet. Knowing full well that she hasn't because they only see eachother once a week. But the last time my mom wanted to set me up with a guy it took me 2 years to meet him and it was a total let down and he was kind of a loser. A really cool loser, but a loser none the less.

Anyways, so we decide that we need a plan. Yes, plotting and scheming is a family trait. And this is the one I came up with... tell me if you like it:

"Hey Jan**, So, you've met my daughter Kate, right? Well she's writing an article about being a single girl in the city and the set ups she goes on, and she's letting me set her up for the article. I immediately thought of your son. Think he'd be interested?"

Check it out: Pro's: if he has a girlfriend, there's no rejection.
if he's just not into random mom set ups... no rejection
if the date goes god awful...... no rejections on his or my part.

Con's: if the date goes well, and he asks to see the article or asks for whom I am writing the article... I'm F***ed because it is, in fact a lie and I'm pretty sure that this blog doesn't count as a publication for which field research is needed. Awkward.

Thoughts?

KK.

Me.

2008-08-19T05:11:00.000-07:00

Let me just tell you a bit about myself. I'm attempting, poorly albeit, to write a book. Why? Because I'm foolish. I write this little sorority newsletter that goes out to a few hundred Canadian ladies every month, and after about the 50th time of being told that I should be a writer, I decided...well why the hell not. So, I'm trying my hand at it. But then again, which blogger isn't trying their hand at writing.
So I've started this blog so that I can get daily rantings and musings off of my chest so that I can infact, focus on the plot of my story.... (read: PROCRASTINATION TOOL #1)

I am Canadian, however, I'm living in Europe at the moment. After graduation, I took a total crap paying job that would enable me to see a part of the world... and that's what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. Eventually though, my escapades will come to an end and I will return to the real world: that date is September 30th.

I'm trying to figure out if I should let my real life friends know that I have a blog... doesn't that produce personal censorship? Like I can't tell you about how I really think a friend is being a jerk if I know that they are tuning in every few minutes. But then I lose that oh so important self fulfillment of showing my friends how great I am and being praised for it. I do NOT know what to do.

In other news, I'm running for the cure (breast cancer) ....Care to sponsor me? Probably not, but it's worth the plug, no?

Here:

https://www.cibcrunforthecure.com/html/welcome.asp

Do it for the fun of it.

And while I may post random excerpts from my book on here, I will not be giving a detailed explanation of it.........sorry.

Talk to you soon.
KK.

Let's start the Political section with a bit of a bang...shall we?

2008-05-11T11:11:00.000-07:00

This past week has shuffled in many upon many activists in to my city. All claiming, nay shouting ferociously for a boycott on Bejing in the face of the Olympics based on the whole Tibet-fiasco. I have to say here that freedom of speech is my favorite of all the freedoms that I am privy to... however, I have a few gripes with activism.

I think it's great and it's a great outlet for common social frustrations when it's peaceful however I feel strongly that people should know what it is that they are protesting about. Let's start with Tibet shall we?
Chinas side: Tibet has always and will always be a part of Chinese territory

Tibet's side: No, That's totally erroneous. They are a totally different ethnic and cultural entity. Always have been, always will be. Love it or Leave it..pref. Leave it.

The stance of some activists, including those who sloppily stuck the Tibetan flag on their bumper sticker: "Free TIBET! Give Tibet their INDEPENDENCE"

The stance of the Dali Lama, the exiled spiritual leader of Tibet (and Tibetan Buddhism) and more notably, good chum to Richard Gere: He asks for AUTONOMY for Tibet, not independence. He asks that he be allowed to head the parliament as a spiritual leader but remain under the jurisdiction or Chinese authority… like a dominion almost… like a Canada where the Queen actually exercises right to rule.

Do you see where there is a disjunct in the knowledge sharing? Where maybe the activists on the ground are not totally in tune with the cause that they have oh so nobly decided to champion? Because, here in lies my issue with activists.

Now here's a mind bender for you: Imagine Utah asking for governing autonomy from the united states… Imagine the Mormon Polygamist Sects rising together and asking foreign leaders to help protect their religious freedom rights and govern themselves according to their doctrine. How d'ya feel about them apples?

Next: speaking of passive protests… which we all know aren't always the case: Case in point, I had a friend in my first year of university who was arrested for chaining his own neck to the fences of the British embassy in protest of George W.'s visit. ……but y'know… isn't it nice when a group of people come together in an act of solidarity and show their disapproval for something while standing peacefully side by side? Ya, it's great… let's take a second and look at the forefather of peaceful protests and pacifists actions: Nelson Mandela.

Oh Nelson. He's a good man. No one can deny it. Oprah said it was an ominous experience standing in his presence… and if Oprah is wow'd, I can only imagine I would be too. But let's take a second to take a look at the actions behind the pacifism. The reason that for some reason THIS MANs unjust imprisonment and passive hunger strikes were headline news worlds over…when the other 175,000 inmates who claim innocence every second are un heard. Let's look at the woman behind the man: his first wife: Winnie Mandela. Whaddya want out of the first wife of Nelson Mandela?

I'm thinking empowered speeches… Martin Luther King Jr styles… I'm seeing visions of a strong and beautiful woman single handedly crusading in all available media outlets for the release of her beloved husband.

WRONG. Girl was out setting people on fire. She ("allegedly") ran with a group of thugs that would kidnap, torture and set alight in the form of burning necklaces (when you douse a car tire in gas and stand the person in the middle and set it ablaze). She forced a nation to stand behind her husbands cause through fear of what would happen if they didn't. She even said in a speech which, I can only assume was intended to entice excitement for her cause, rather than fear in her enemies (I like to give people the benefit of the doubt): "with our boxes of matches and our necklaces we shall liberate this country".

Oh ya and in the post Apartheid government, she was even given an appointment… but fired not even a year later when she was accused of corruption… hmmm…sounds so out of character for this woman. She's not even allowed in Canada to this day... Canada! I mean, Canada lets anyone visit. A lot of people consider her the "Mother of the Nation." And, you just can't forget that almost every country in and out of Africa has blood on its hands but… maybe we should think about the other fractions of history that go into the making of such a notable and historical ledgend such as Nelson Mandela who was imprisoned form 1963 until 1990…. Interestingly enough, Winnie and Nelson were married until 1996. …. Just some food for thought.

As a small side note and afterthought: I can see the sirens calling to the sailors here for someone to seriously condemn my even questioning the amazing and beautiful nature of Nelson Mandela, and I want to pre-emptively say that I am not. I'm just saying that sometimes it's not a one man journey to righteousness... sometimes there are other factors at play which promote or deter that rise to the platform of the righteous, with or without their consent, or conscious knowledge. But, I can't help but wonder what people would say if the roles were reversed... what is Mother Theresa had a boyfriend who owned or sat on the board of a capitalistic corporate entity which employed the same children that she helped feed in a nasty sweat shop. Would people be as quickly to separate the two as individuals, or would the actions of the female be wholly undermined by the actions of her male companion.... (Blasphemy AND politics all in one post!). Also, I'd like to note that Nelson Mandelas current wife is one of my idols... if for no other reason that to slightly redeem myself in the eyes of ....well......you.

Oh, and it's widely acknowledged that Ghandi beat his wife. (Redemption taken away)

My Philosphy on Being Single

2008-05-11T11:10:00.001-07:00

proclamation on being single/ Reasons I don't want your man!An Open letter

To whom it may concern;

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day: a holiday generally noted for the excessive coupling that occurs in restaurants nation, nay, continent wide: A holiday which many singles fear and loathe, often dividing in to two opposing camps. Those who stop dating mid-January to avoid the Valentines day awkwardness, generally brought on by a newly formed couple (or the pressure to not call it quits for fear of being ‘that person who dumped someone a week before valentines day) OR there is the camp of people (generally women, but some men as well) who flock to online dating sites or hit up friends for blind dates, simply doing everything and anything they can to find a date so that they aren’t left at home watching hopeless romantic movies on there own come D-day….errr I mean V-day. I belong to neither of these camps. I am single, and I love Valentines Day: This holiday does not serve to make me feel lonely and desperate, nor does it make me ‘awkwardly aware’ of my lowly social status. Any holiday that offers a wal-mart full of chocolate and candies that will go 50% off come the 15th is O.K. by me. This year, however, Valentines Day served to make me slightly upset, and only slightly (as in enough to be up at midnight writing this letter). This year I had three people ask me out on Valentines Day dates after my plans to drink vino and go out for dinner with my friends fell through due to weather conditions. Each time, I declined. Each time I got a similar response: “But no girl should have to be alone on valentines day,” a sentiment often whined to me by single friends of the past who are now in dauntingly boring relationships that I would rather stab my eye out than be forced to endure for one evening let alone the rest of my godforsaken life.I have said it before, and I’ll say it again: I like being single. In case you feel that this may be a case of “Me thinks she doth protest too much…” Let me provide you with some reasons:1. I’m independent: You can’t just come and go when you’re tied to someone. I, as a general rule, spend one weekend a month, if not more in another city. I move on a whim and I apply to random internships (for instance in Africa) for no apparent reason, with every intention of going. I like this. You can’t just come home to your hunny and drop, non chalantly, into a conversation that you applied to go to Kenya for the summer. People expect an explanation. They want to be included. I want to not have to explain myself to anyone. I want adventure.2. I really enjoy my friends: It took me alotta years to get to the point where I could say that the people I surround myself with are the people who I admire most and make me the happiest to be me. I don’t need some guy to walk in with a complex about how much time I spend with the girls, what boys I choose to drink beer with and how he should be my best friend because that’s how “real relationships work.” News Flash: you are not my best friend. It took me years and years to forge the friendships that I have and only a handful equate to being “the best,” and baby… they were there long before you, they’ll probably be there long after you. Deal with it.3. I’m comfortable hanging by myself: I actually enjoy living alone, and I enjoy doing things on my own…even in public. I’ll go to a movie on my own, if it’s one I really want to see… I’ll even do that in the afternoon so that I can see another movie I really want to see with my date that evening. Don’t laugh. I’ve done it.4. I have goals and plans… These are mine. I don’t expect someone to take them on; in fact I don’t want someone to take them on. It took me years to create these, and they are still malleable enough that they may change. They are important to me, and they are my focus. If someone comes along that I am madly in love with who happens to fit nicely into these, then rock on! Bringing me to my next point…5. I believe in love and commitment: In case you feel like these are the ranting of a cynical single girl who has been hurt and is thus against men in general…. Think again. I believe in love. I believe in true love and I believe in commitment. I don’t believe in being in a relationship for the sake of being in one, and I don’t believe in being in a relationship until someone better comes along. Love and Commitment are very really and very hard…. That’s why I’m not in either of them.Now that you see why I enjoy being single, understand this: I am not alone. I have many-a-friend who feel the same way. The next time you hear that your friend is single or doing the solo thing for a while, don’t pout at them and say “awww don’t worry, you’ll find the right guy soon.” Look, it’s not like I lost my keys or my wallet… I’m not on some profound journey to find my soul mate… I’m not looking in every nook-and-cranney, falling into bed exhausted from my day of searching for the relic of a man like the single, female version of Indiana Jones. Instead, try this: “Alright…. Get your best dress and dancing shoes out, because we are tearing up the town…” and then… and only then, my poor, unfortunate, coupled friends, will you understand that our lives are not hollow and sour without someone to tell what we ate that day: instead, we’re having a friggin blast.