How to force people to give you money...for a good cause

Have you ever really wanted to do one of those walks or runs? You know the kind, they hold them for every good cause known to man. The walk for the cure, breast cancer, MS, battered women, and so on.
I find myself often in a predicament, being that I WANT to participate, and I always have good intentions to, but I hate having to ask people for money. That's a total lie. I love it, but let's call a spade a spade, it can get very annoying to have to ask all of your friends to donate money to your cause all the time. Especially if you have over 2 causes.


So, here's my guide to hounding your friends and family for money:

1. Divide your friends and family per cause. Don't ask all of them for every cause. Personally, I devide them up a few times: Big spenders and employed small spenders and unemployed/broke. After that, I ignore all unemployed/broke because it's not fair to ask them, and then I divide the big spenders and the employed small spenders into the causes for which I will pester and hound them.
** If you are employed, you will be exploited for money --- this is my mantra

2. First, I send out personal messages to everyone. Normally the website for your cause allows you to do this through their site. The personal messages should be funny. No one wants to feel like you're using some sob story to extort money, save this for later. Thanks to fox news, we're all totally desensitized to everything. The messages should be short and sweet. Most people probably wont even read them, but they should all include something more personal than just using their name.
I.E. "Dear Nicholas, I'm doing the run and walk for the cure this fall. Your donation and the amount thereof will work towards my considering your many marriage proposals..."


3. Follow up phone calls. Start with the big spenders. Why? Because you have your best stuff at the beginning and this is a good time. ASK HOW THEY ARE DOING FIRST.... but don't jump into a conversation and then talk about your need for dough as an after thought .... get to the point within 4 sentences, because by then, people are already thinking of how to get you off the phone. I also mention at this point that my mother is a survivor, which is why I'm doing the walk. It's cheap and dirty and it works. Get them to subscribe to an amount, and then tell them that you are sending and email with the link in which they can click and donate... tax receipts can be sent directly to them this way, and you dont have to handle cash. Always finish the conversation by saying, "Thanks so much, I wont keep you but I'll definitely call you to catch up soon." This makes people feel like you aren't using them for money. Even though you are.

4. A few days later, if you notice that they have yet to do good on their verbal (and in some places, BINDING) contract to sponsor you.... Harass them. This is where it differs, and the subgroups of potential sponsors differ.

4.a. The big spenders-- wait a few weeks/days and call them again. "Hey, I noticed that you hadn't had a chance to visit my donor page. You had said that you wanted to sponsor this cause, so I thought I'd remind you. If you want, I can help fill it all out." This may not work.....because big spenders are big spenders for a reason, they have money and they know how to say no to spending it. However, if they didn't blow you off the first time by saying "Oh gosh darnit, i already donated to that cause this year" then you can play the innocent card and ask again.

4.b. The employed small spenders. Harass them. Hard. I advice during the above phonecall... you pre warn them that you're monitoring your page and that you will be harassing them in the near future. Most people find this funny and comical, until you start to do it. An email here and there.... you know. Don't be mean.... be funny... people like funny.
e.x. Hey ...sooo.... Your name has yet to grace my donation page.... it's sad and waiting for you. Put it out of it's misery and give it some money. Pleaaaaaaaase.
or
ex. Research isn't done on good will.... Show me the money!

Always remember your please and thank you's folks.


5. Send out a mass email a week before your closing date as a reminder to those that didn't get around to you and the massive impact that you are about to make on the world by walking a km for breast cancer research.
If they haven't donated by this point, perhaps they forgot, but more likely they hate you for asking them.

Which MEANS.... you can put them in your next cause's list and harass them again next time around.... one day they will feel guilty and throw you 20 bucks... and if 5 people do that, then you have 100. Sure, you may lose some friends over it... but they are cheap jerks who would probably invite you to their baby showers for the presents and never give you a dime towards the future insurance that you will not need to lose two breasts to a scalpel one day....

** don't forget to write thank you cards!!!


And that is how I exploit people out of money.

KK.